American baseball player

Founder of Globis University Graduate School of Management
College 1972
Film director and producer, Who Killed Vincent Chin?
Radcliffe 1962; Law 1965

Morientes

College 2013

Separation of Church & Plate

Law 1765
College 1974; A.M. 1977; PhD 1978; Dean of business school 1995–2005

Multi-touch touchscreen display,

M.P.A. 1999
Member of the high Bohemian nobility; member of the House of Lobkowicz, one of the oldest Bohemian noble families; his great-grandfather Ferdinand was the 10th Prince zu Lobkowicz when the Austro-Hungarian Empire collapsed, leaving the Bohemian nobility stripped of its legal privileges in 1919

José María Ortiz de Mendibil

Union Army general, Medal of Honor recipient, U.S. Representative from Maryland, lawyer, judge
Law 1942
Institute of Educational Management 1989

Xiaomi logo.svg

New York Giants

College 1899

Moultrie, GA

Stephen begins by talking about Terry McAuliffe incorrectly saying that Tim Russert's father was dead. In his "Cold War Update," he talks about Belarus, China and Vladimir Putin resigning as President of Russia and becoming the Prime Minister. The "ThreatDown:" 5: Airlines! 4: Women's Softball! 3: Keyboards! 2: Isabella Rossellini! 1: Bears! He then interviews Mehmet Oz about his book You: The Owner's Manual.

Speechwriter for Kennedy and Johnson administrations; author

Stephen briefly mentions Dennis Kucinich dropping out of the U.S. presidential election. He then discusses Rudy Giuliani's presidential campaign in the Florida Republican primary. Next, he claims that Frederick Douglass is Hillary Clinton's "new black friend." He also comments on Bill Clinton's attacks on Barack Obama. Stephen then interviews Debra Dickerson about the role of race and gender in politics. Next, Stephen shows footage of the South Carolina Democratic debate and, using a sand sculpture of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John Edwards, decides who won. Finally, Stephen interviews Charles Nesson
about why online poker should be legal.

LED backlit IPS TFT LCD,

Chairman and CEO of Boeing
HKS, 2000
Special Prosecutor in the Dismissal of U.S. attorneys controversy, former U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia; Deputy Attorney General of Connecticut

Stephen begins with an apology for the way he dressed during his town hall debate in the previous episode. He then talks about the second presidential debate, including a poll on Fox News that stated over 80% of their viewers believed John McCain won the debate. For Yom Kippur, Stephen brings out his "Atone Phone" and is called by Gilbert Gottfried, who apologizes for being jealous of Stephen's success. Finally, he interviews Joe Scarborough about the presidential election.
Stephen begins by talking about Stephen Jr., his adopted eagle son, who was spotted in Oregon. In "The Wørd," Stephen discusses ACORN and alleged voter registration fraud. Stephen then examines the issue of God in the presidential election, after claims of a battle between God, Allah, Buddha and Hindu. He then plays some messages from his "Atone Phone." Finally, Stephen interviews Michael Farris about Patrick Henry College.

Maki

MBA 1955
New York Times reporter and columnist; two-time Pulitzer Prize winner

OLB
Destrehen

Stephen begins by saying that people should not worry about the current economic crisis, even though he is losing money himself. In "The Wørd," he talks about John McCain and Sarah Palin hesitating to allow journalists to ask them questions. In "Colbert Platinum," he talks about a gold statue of Kate Moss, King Mswati III of Swaziland selecting a bride out of "Tens of thousands of bare-breasted virgins," and wrapping paper made out of money. He then interviews the Rev. Peter J. Gomes about his views on religion.

HKS 1998
College 1925
Washington Post executive editor during Watergate scandal
Justice of the Supreme Court of the United States
College 1924, professor

Chicago, Illinois

Jonathan Siegel

"If your Colbert Report lasts more than half an hour, consult your physician. This is The Colbert Report."

Film director, screenwriter, Academy Award nominee for Whiplash
HKS 1945
CEO of Pfizer

Torres

Opera singer, son of Vladimir Nabokov
PhD; previously an Associate Professor of Government and Social Studies
College 2011, Harvard/New England Conservatory of Music AB/MM Joint Program 2011/2012
Founder of Aspen Highlands
HKS
PhD 1955
Journalist, activist

Stephen talks about his show winning an Emmy Award for writing, but losing an Emmy Award to Don Rickles, and discovers one of his writers, Peter Gross, was at Rickles' show. In "The Wørd," he talks about the economic crisis. Stephen then punishes Gross by making him write insults to himself. He then talks about the Republican Party using songs without permission. Stephen then interviews Jackson Browne, who is suing John McCain for using his song, "Running on Empty." Browne then performs his song, "Going Down to Cuba."

Quarter-Finals: 1968

Experience
Stephen briefly mentions John Kerry's endorsement of Barack Obama. In the "Un-American News" segment, Stephen discusses foreign newspapers' coverage of the New Hampshire primary. He then interviews Norman Ornstein about how difficult it is to actually change the politics of Washington, D.C.. Next, he chronicles his attempt to get his portrait into the Smithsonian Institution, in Part 1 of "National Treasure: Portrait of Stephen." Finally, Stephen interviews Muhammad Yunus about poverty and microcredit.

Tichy

—Van Morrison

Historian, Librarian of Congress

Bulgaria 10–0

Immunology; Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner

Moondance

College 1843
Economist; Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences winner
College 1943; A.M. 1946; PhD 1949
College 1759
Creator of VisiCalc
College 1914; Law 1917

Ploy-cott

Member of the House of Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg; Crown Prince of Denmark, therefore the heir apparent to the throne of Denmark; elder son of Queen Margrethe II and Henrik, the Prince Consort
Chairman of Loeb, Rhoades Trust Company; former United States Ambassador to Denmark

Bivane Dam

Greenville
yes

College 1962; Law 1966; professor
Major General Spurgeon Neel

"We have a really big show tonight, but it's a little sensitive, so call it 'husky.' This is The Colbert Report."

College 1961; Education 1964
College 1990

Ferrán Giner

Law 1935
Playwright

Abbottabad, Pakistan

right

Law 1994
PhD 1975
Radcliffe A.M. 1962
College 1910

ffffff
Morales

College 1966; Law 1970
HKS 1973

Produced Think Like a Man, Obsessed, Ride Along, About Last Night

Nobel Peace Prize winner
Physician
Prince Ali-Reza Pahlavi, of Iran
United States Secretary of the Treasury; Chairman of Citigroup

Tbilisi, Georgia

Law 1866

Conference of Hanoi

Journalist and conservative political commentator; host of The O'Reilly Factor
NHL general manager
Public advocate

Stephen begins by talking about the economic crisis. He then moves onto the presidential election and reports of Barack Obama's alleged ties to William Ayers. He then talks to David Gergen about his view that personal attacks will not win the election. In "Who's Not Honoring Me Now?", he attacks the MacArthur Foundation, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and Nepal. Finally, he interviews Oliver Stone about his movie W.

Son of the current Sultan of Perak, one of the Sultans of Malaysia, as a federal constitutional monarchy
Business 1975
Founder of Hellman & Friedman and Hellman, Ferri Investment Associates ; former president, chairman, head of Investment Banking Division of Lehman Brothers
College 1930

Stephen begins by claiming that John McCain is doing so badly in the polls because it is part of a prank. In "The Wørd," he joins other conservatives and endorses Barack Obama for president, although it is mainly to get attention and say he will not actually vote for him. In "Was It Really That Bad?", Stephen examines The Great Depression. Finally, he interviews David Simon about The Wire and Generation Kill.

Radcliffe College 1922

Kurt Tschenscher
Milenko Vukadinović

College 1962

CHN

Mr. Right Now

Author, editor

Letchkov

Medical 1955
College 2002
College 1802
College 1974; Business 1978
Born Prince Karim Aga Khan, he is the 49th and current Imam of Nizari Ismailism, and a descendant of Shah Fat′h-Ali Shah Qajar of the Persian Qajar dynasty

in Amesbury

Political scientist; Nobel Peace Prize winner

Gottfried Dienst

Stephen begins by talking about Vanity Fair's photo shoot of Miley Cyrus. He then talks about Howard Dean's belief that the choice for the Democratic presidential nomination will not be based on the popular vote. In "The Wørd," Stephen talks about using ethanol to help fight climate change. In "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report," he talks about lumberjack sports. Stephen then talks to Feist about her career. Finally, she performs her latest single, "I Feel It All."

President of the Continental Congress, first Governor of Massachusetts

Ikpeba

Allinea MAP

Packer, William

~ 1 billion

Jarabinský

Former CNN chairman and CEO; managing editor of TIME; author
Mathematician, Fields Medal winner
Medical 1938
Commander of the elite Israeli army commando unit Sayeret Matkal; killed in action during Operation Entebbe in Uganda; awarded the Medal of Distinguished Service for his conduct in the Yom Kippur War

Nikodimov

Mathematician

List of cities by history

Billionaire, owner of Blackstone Group

Boykin, Trevone

PhD History 1976
Law 1931

_white stripes

Film producer

"Hey, I Am America (And So Can You!) 2009 desk calendar! How dare you be in bookstores everywhere! This is The Colbert Report."

College 1943; PhD 1949

Derek

Author

The Smurfs

青岛理工大学

Jamal Al Sharif

College 1951

Bernstein, Inga S.

College 1981; Law 1984
College 1858; Professor

Stephen begins by talking about the first presidential debate. In "The Wørd," he talks about economic crisis. In "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.," Stephen talks about germs and heart health. Finally, he interviews Paul Begala about the presidential election.

Mohamed VI

Vutsov

Lawyer influential in American Revolution
PhD 1950
PhD 1985
Radcliffe College A.M. 1921
Law
College 1845; Law 1848
Co-founder and chairman of Sun Microsystems
Philosopher; psychologist; namesake of William James Hall
Divinity
Businessman, television personality; The Bachelor
U.S. Army general, Medal of Honor recipient, killed in the Philippine–American War

Astral Weeks

College 1936
Ethnobotanist; founder of Amazon Conservation Team

Tiny Gallon

Stephen begins by mentioning Barack Obama's repudiation of comments by Jeremiah Wright. He then discusses John McCain's superstitions. Stephen then talks about Vladimir Putin aligning the Russian government with the Russian Orthodox Church and a Florida legislator's attempt to issue a Christian license plate. In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," he tips his hat to Mattel and wags his finger at LASIK critics and cuddle parties. Finally, Stephen interviews Anne Lamott about her book, Grace : Thoughts on Faith.

Economist
College 1867
HKS 1983
MBA 1961
College 1971; Law 1974
Business, 1992

BUL

Rashard Causey Jr.

College 1967
BBC journalist and political commentator; host of HARDtalk
NFL center
College 1987; HKS 1995

Kupferberg

Empingham

U.S. Army officer in World War I, commander of the "Lost Battalion", Medal of Honor recipient
College 1988

Orlando, FL

Esko Aho

British Old Testament scholar.

Right-handed

QB-PP

Professor of public policy
Jazz vocalist
Martin Feldstein
Chairman and CEO of CIT Group, last chairman and CEO of Merrill Lynch

Circle: An International Survey of Constructivist Art

Philosopher, mathematician

Antoine Blavier

College 1858
Finance Minister of India
Former Attorney General of Connecticut
College 2000, HBS 2011
Serbian American actress

"Time flies, especially since I built a clockapult. This is The Colbert Report."

Founder of Electronic Arts and the 3DO Company
Robert Livingston Schuyler {b.1798}

Nepal

microphone,

Law 1969

Saudi Arabia-led intervention in Yemen (2015–present)

Stephen talks about his Peabody Award and claims that the award should be shared between him and Doritos. In "The Wørd", Stephen says that the 2008 Beijing Olympics are too important to boycott. He then shows the eighth episode of Tek Jansen. He then interviews Clay Shirky about the Internet. Finally, Jason Baker, one of The Colbert Report's editors, performs the song "You Are the Best", which featured in the Tek Jansen episode.

Irrigation and domestic use

Business 1964
Founder of the First Parish Congregational Church of York, the oldest church congregation in the state of Maine; killed in the Candlemas Massacre

Stephen briefly mentions the economic crisis and again talks about Kanye West beating him on the iTunes chart. He then discusses Plaxico Burress accidentally shooting himself in the thigh. In "Colbert Platinum: Christmas Gift Edition," he talks about a bulletproof polo shirt, giant white truffles, transforming your backyard into a Dallas Cowboys end zone and a pure gold calendar. Stephen then interviews Jeffrey Goldberg about airline security. Finally, Stephen announces the boots he wore in A Colbert Christmas are being auctioned on eBay.

Stuart Dew

Y. Todorov

South Round Valley School

Gadzhev

India women

New York Times chief restaurant critic

Frank Derek Kidner

College 1837

As Player

dual warm/cool LED flashes,

Century Sound Studios in New York City

Tristan Payton

Law 1979

Milwaukee Brewers

true

Radcliffe 1933; faculty
Premier historian of Texas
Law 2009
College 1992; PhD 2003

Astral Weeks Live at the Hollywood Bowl

Expedia logo.svg

Near Vryheid, KwaZulu-Natal

Businessman and transportation specialist from Meridian, Mississippi; Republican candidate for U.S. Senate , governor , and lieutenant governor

Winona LaDuke, Dixon Despommier

Professor 1961–1987
College 1956
College 1822

Houses in McKinley County, New Mexico

Atlanta, GA
Taj McGowan

It's Alive!

R. eldii

Elyounoussi

London

"Hey Obama! You want to impress me with a speech on the 50-yard line of a football field? Give it during the game! This is The Colbert Report."

College 1983; Law 1987

Erik Fredriksson

President of Antioch College, Yellow Springs Ohio; great-grandson of Theodore Roosevelt, Class of 1880

ambient light sensor

College 1863
MBA 1986
Poet; Nobel Prize in Literature winner
Differential geometer
College 1745
Unitarian leader
HKS 1988
NFL player, Seattle Seahawks, St. Louis Rams, Oakland Raiders

Dolalghat

Law 1853

Çalhanoğlu

Law 2000
Helen Lefkowitz Horowitz
Libertarian philosopher

Unknown number of soldiers

Lexicon Artist

Namesake of Harvard's Widener Library; died in the sinking of the Titanic

_bulgaria_10

College 1942; Law 1948
Under Secretary of Defense for Policy of the United States
Biochemist, HHMI investigator
Assassinated three fellow professors and wounded two more at The University of Alabama in Huntsville

title

Chief Justice of the United States
PhD 1955; professor
Computer pioneer; inducted into National Inventors Hall of Fame for magnetic core memory; philanthropist
Blogger, journalist
College 1789, A.M. 1792
PhD 1888; Professor

SRB
Seeler

College 1972; Law 1977
PhD; professor
Developed East Boston
Juris Doctor Harvard Law School 1975
Law 1906
MBA, c. 1947
B.A.
College 1784

*2012 Buffalo Wild Wings Bowl
*2014 Peach Bowl

Let Your Light Shine on Me

Business 1991
Music director of the New York Philharmonic
F.O. Matthiessen

Stephen first talks about collecting his Peabody Award. He then goes on to talk about prisoners at Guantanamo being able to challenge their cases in civilian courts and interviews Neal Katyal about the decision. In "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report," Stephen talks about Ken Griffey Jr. scoring his 600th home run, gambling in basketball, and Mike Forrester making it through to the next stage of his timber sports contest. Finally, he interviews Jonathan Zittrain on the future of the internet.

Class of 1906
Did not matriculate
Chemist, Nobel Prize 1965

Stephen again starts by talking about his Peabody Award. In "The Wørd," he says that John McCain is distancing himself from President Bush by using another word to describe the War on Terror. Stephen then talks about Barack Obama going to church in a new segment, "Stephen Colbert's Barack Obama Church Search," and discusses if Obama should be a Hindu. He then talks to Uma Mysorekar about the faith. Finally, Stephen interviews Junot Díaz about his books.

Civil rights leader, African American studies scholar
Author, screenwriter

Borimirov

Theoretical physics; Nobel Prize in Chemistry winner
Business 1959

Ethnicities

Fantasyland

Member of the House of Chakri, of Siam ; son of King Chulalongkorn of Siam; father of King Ananda Mahidol and King Bhumibol Adulyadej of Thailand; regarded as the father of modern medicine and public health of Thailand
Law 1983

*First-team All-Big 12
*Big 12 Offensive Player of the Year
*Earl Campbell Tyler Rose Award
*Kellen Moore Award
*Peach Bowl Offensive MVP
*4th Place in Heisman Trophy voting

Professor of Christian Morals
U.S. Army general, author of We Were Soldiers Once… And Young
Founder of the Free Software Foundation
College 1890
Karim Aga Khan IV
NBA player, Los Angeles Lakers
Certificate in Public Health 1921

"Shouldn't it be, 'No, we don't have any bananas?' That's been bugging me for 75 years. This is The Colbert Report."
Stephen begins with "Who's Riding My Coattails Now?," putting German comedian Oliver Pocher on notice for stealing his pose that he used on the front cover of GQ magazine. He then talks about the Roger Clemens hearing. He then interviews John Feinstein about the use of steroids in sports. In the "People Destroying America" segment, Stephen talks about Susan Pagan, who refused to give her daughter a free Happy Meal for getting good grades. Finally, he interviews Leonard Nimoy about his new book.

auto

de Jong

Season of Giving

Map of Essex County in northeastern Massachusetts with Route 150 highlighted in red

Location in Antarctica

Law 1924
Dean of Yale School of Management; sociologist
Two time gold medalist at 1896 Summer Olympics
College 1789

Dame Angela Lansbury

Presbyterian leader, lawyer and judge

Stephen again comments on Barack Obama's trip abroad. He then talks about the Air Force wanting to design in-flight "comfort capsules" on military planes so generals and government officials can travel luxuriously. Next, Stephen discusses Elton John getting his own Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor. He then mentions a new gay-friendly advertisement for South Carolina. Finally, Stephen interviews Margaret Spellings about No Child Left Behind.

Neeskens

CEO of online shoe and clothing shop Zappos, co-founder of LinkExchange, author of Delivering Happiness
Actor, poet
Embezzler

Stephen begins by talking about the resignation of Eliot Spitzer. In "Smokin' Pole: The Fight For Arctic Riches," Stephen talks about Alaska and how it may help America gain more control of the Arctic. In "Better Know A Lobby," he talks about the drug lobby and interviews Ethan Nadelmann of the Drug Policy Alliance. Finally, Stephen interviews Howard Kurtz about the media.

Animalia

Mitsanski

MBA/JD 1981
English radical dissenting minister

Stephen briefly mentions David Paterson, New York's newly installed governor, who admitted to an extramarital affair. In the "Democralypse Now" segment, he discusses Hillary Clinton supporters boycotting the Daily Kos and Barack Obama's speech on race. Next, in "Stephen Colbert's Doritos Spicy Sweet Pennsylvania Primary Coverage Live from Chilidelphia: The City of Brotherly Crunch," he features Donorschoose.org. In the "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger" segment, Stephen wags his finger at the troops in Afghanistan and tips his hat to The Moment of Truth. Finally, Stephen interviews Dee Dee Myers about her new book, Why Women Should Rule The World.

PhD 1964, Professor Emeritus
Geologist; one of the top Canadian scientists of the 20th century; namesake of Thomasclarkite
PhD 1981

Stephen discusses his appearance on Good Morning America and his upcoming Christmas special. He then talks about President-elect Obama's potential Cabinet picks and interviews Tom Brokaw about it. He then discusses dueling advertisements between Campbell's Soup and Progresso. Finally, Stephen interviews Malcolm Gladwell about why certain people become successful.

Sachin Ulmale

Maisuradze, Irakli

"Portions of this show may have been pre-recorded. I've done so many, it's hard to remember. This is The Colbert Report."

Diaz Rock

English

College 1774
Writer, activist
Biochemist; Nobel Prize in Chemistry winner

Will Packer

A Man Named Plaxico

United States Secretary of Transportation, United States Secretary of Labor

----
82 soldiers killed and 240 wounded

"Hey Democrats, I'm getting a little nervous here, you haven't invited me to speak at your convention yet. Joke's over guys! This is The Colbert Report."

_adidaswhite

"Guests of The Colbert Report stay at the luxurious...crashing with a friend. This is The Colbert Report."
"Well, we made it through another presidential election. What? Two more months? This is The Colbert Report."

PhD. 1948

Sangai

College 1799
Writer, Ambassador of Albania to the United States

Sirakov

Law 1929
President and CEO of Microsoft

José María Codesal

U.S. News & World Report editor-in-chief, New York Daily News owner and publisher
College 1938; Law 1941

Gerard Valentín

PhD 1990

Gaspar Perusic

Martin Strömbergsson

College 1963; PhD 1968
Novelist, screenwriter, director, producer
Governor of Delaware, U.S. presidential candidate

Gottfried

College 1656

I Endorse Barack Obama

Yes

Mathematician, philosopher, professor

Stephen talks angrily about his image being used on a Russian billboard, demanding payment from the Russians. In his "Cold War Update", he talks about Kosovo, Cuba and the shooting of a satellite. He then talks to Richard Brookhiser about the death of William F. Buckley Jr.. Stephen then interviews Ingrid Newkirk about animal rights.

Aweke Ayalew

Morgan Union Pacific Depot

w/willine01

Economist, president of Bates College
English soldier, diplomat
Law 1974
U.S. Army general, Commander of United States Central Command
Chairman and CEO of JPMorgan Chase
College 1727; A.M. 1730
Group Executive Committee of Deutsche Bank
College 1946; PhD 1949; Professor
Law 1987, HKS 1987

Negrete

* Operation Decisive Storm

Professor of biochemistry at Duke University and member of National Academy of Sciences

"Hey, single malt Scotch! You're thirty years old. When are you going to settle down and get married...to my stomach? This is The Colbert Report."

and the Yemeni Crisis

Political scientist
Emmy-winning writer, Saturday Night Live, The Simpsons, King of the Hill
College 1972; Law 1975
B.A. Economics, 1969

Peter Mikkelsen

FF4111

College 1966

M.Gyonin

College 1760
College 1743; A.M. 1746

P.Zhekov

Bo Schneider

"[In Ireland, our gardener] had no idea who I was. Nobody there did. I was just Mrs. Shaw, which suited me down to the ground. I had absolute anonymity in those days, which was wonderful."

Figure skater, two-time Olympic gold medalist 1948/1954, 5-time world champion, 7-time national champion
PhD 1940
Soccer player

Stephen briefly comments on the world's oldest church allegedly being found in Jordan. He then offers up "Stephen Colbert's Make McCain Exciting Challenge!," inviting viewers to replace the green screen behind John McCain at one of his speeches with something exciting. Stephen then interviews Winona LaDuke about the impact of Native Americans on the presidential election. In the "We the MEdiator" segment, he settles the feud between Clint Eastwood and Spike Lee. Finally, Stephen interviews Dixon Despommier about vertical farming.
Black & White

Popov

"Batman may have ruled the box office but Mamma Mia! ruled my heart. This is The Colbert Report."

Designed the water and sewerage systems in his native New Orleans, Louisiana

Yuta Shitara

Hits

Stephen begins by breaking the world record for the number of episodes of The Colbert Report. He then discusses John McCain allegedly plagiarizing Wikipedia. He then blames Monica Goodling for most of the world's problems. In "Formidable Opponent," Stephen debates himself on the merits of offshore oil drilling. Finally, Stephen interviews Dick Meyer about his book, Why We Hate Us.

Right

Ali Abdullah Saleh

_bul94_away

College 1732; professor
MCE 1911

Y.Minev

Stephen discusses the arrest of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. The "ThreatDown:" 5. China! 4. Asteroids! 3. Time! 2. Pole-Dancing Robots! 1. Happiness! He then talks about potential pardons by President Bush. He brings out the "On Notice" board and pardons several items, regrets it, and puts "Forgiveness" on the board. Finally, Stephen interviews Richard Haass about foreign policy issues that President-elect Obama could face.

College 1981/82
President, The American University
PhD, 1976
Physicist

American film producer

Sharp/JDI OGS fully laminated

white

_Lokomotiv_Pd_15_16_a

Professor of Philosophy at Georgetown University, military ethicist
Medical doctor and professor of pathology; author of a main textbook in the field; discoverer of the Rosai-Dorfman disease

Inga S.

* 1887 World Series champion
* NL home run leader

College 1929; A.M. 1930
M.A. 1937; PhD 1939

d/dalryab01

Secretary-General

President of NBC Universal
PhD 1897

Stephen briefly mentions John Edwards' endorsement of Barack Obama. In "Who's NOT Honoring Me Now," he complains about a new species of spider being named after Neil Young, and the University of Massachusetts Amherst not giving him an honorary law degree. He then talks about Paul McCartney's eco-car being flown from Japan. Next, Stephen interviews Laura Dern about her new film, Recount. Finally, Stephen interviews Grover Norquist about politics.

I. Popov

T.R. Kidder born 1960

_shoulder_stripes_red_stripes_half

Free Gas!

Bivane Dam Reservoir

Law 1984

Stephen begins by talking about when he wagged his finger at Newsweek for printing a close-up photo of Sarah Palin showing her facial hair and claims he changed the world when People printed a similar photo without the hair. The "ThreatDown:" 5: Long John Silver's! 4: Iran! 3: Magnets! 2: Monkey waiters! 1: Larry Flynt! In "Difference Makers," Stephen profiles The National Hummer Club. Finally, he interviews Jonathan Alter about Barack Obama and Franklin D. Roosevelt.

South Zone Women

Medical 1895

Baxter, Jarrod

"I don't need a GPS system to find the truth, but I would like a free GPS system. This is The Colbert Report."

Novelist

Stephen begins by talking about O. J. Simpson being found guilty of kidnapping and armed robbery. He plans to bust him out by going to jail himself, so he shots the audience member he shot in the previous show again. In "The Wørd," Stephen talks about Sarah Palin not talking about the cause of climate change, and claims that causes are America's greatest enemy. He then presents a special financial edition of "Un-American News". Stephen then interviews Jim Cramer about the economic crisis.

A.M. 1956; PhD 1958; Professor

Stephen mentions a shortage of sperm donors in Britain and introduces a new product, Stephen Colbert's Formula 4OU1. He then discusses Barack Obama winning one electoral vote from Nebraska's 2nd congressional district, further adding to the Republicans' problems. In "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.," he talks about women's health, heart health and the Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive" being used to perform CPR ideally. Finally, Stephen interviews Bob Woodward about the Bush administration.
"The truth shall set you free, unless you killed somebody, in which case, remember, tell the cops they were breathing when you left. This is The Colbert Report."

Law 1846

Solymosi

Neurosurgeon, professor and chairman of the Department of Neurosurgery at the New York University School of Medicine
Former NBA player, New York Knicks

"I knew it! This is The Colbert Report."

Composer, professor
Conspiracy, making false statements, insider trading, and securities fraud during the Enron case

Acid Flashback

The Washington Post Company chairman and CEO

"Count your blessings, America. One. This is The Colbert Report."

K.Ivkov

Theater critic
Business 1979

Tony Boskovic

Professor, namesake of Schlesinger Library
Phd Economics 1965

Location in Nepal

College 1856; Civil Engineering 1859
PhD in Economics

aperture f/1.8,

NHL player, head hockey coach

Alfonso

East Midlands

College 1754
PhD. 1933
Radcliffe College 1908

Inga Bernstein

England

President and CEO of Fannie Mae
Law 1968
Mass-murderess
United States Secretary of the Interior, United States Secretary of Energy
President of Long Island University
Philosopher, logician

Van Morrison Astral Weeks.ogg

ESPN

Indonesian Environmental Minister

Stephen begins by talking about John McCain trying to reach out to the middle class, and supports what he sees as McCain treating voters like children by not referring to their surnames. He talks about this to Cedric the Entertainer. Stephen then expresses his anger at a poll that claims his viewers have the 9th highest political knowledge in America. In "Movies That Are Destroying America," he discusses Quantum of Solace, High School Musical 3 and Milk. Stephen then interviews David Frum about the Republican Party.

אריאל בנאדו

Hristo Bonev

Vaughan, David Owen

African American studies scholar
Law 1854
Radcliffe 1899

This was not a regular episode, but part of Comedy Central's Indecision 2008 live election night special.

Davide Massa

Stockbridge

Law 1913
U.S. Representative, businessman and husband of Arianna Huffington
Law 2005
Provost of New York Institute of Technology
Business 1949

Stephen starts talking about the economic crisis, but then talks about being nominated for an Emmy Award. In "Smokin' Pole: The Fight for Arctic Riches," Stephen talks about Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper's views on Arctic sovereignty, Russian bomber planes resuming missions, and American scientists mapping the Arctic seabed. He then talks about his DNA being shot into space and interviews Richard Garriott via telephone about the news. Stephen then interviews Maria Bartiromo about the economic crisis.

Law 1891
B.A.;M.A;PhD

Abdel Fattah el-Sisi

Divided We Win
The Colbert Report'' 2008 episodes

M.D. and PhD 1973

Blanc

College 1978; Law 1984

Stephen briefly mentions Joe Lieberman being allowed to remain in the Democratic caucus. He then discusses the words "peace and love" not being part of the presidential campaign. He then talks about Hillary Clinton possibly becoming the next Secretary of State and airs the first part of his interview with Cliff Sloan about the vetting process. Stephen then interviews Paul Simon about his career and his new book, Lyrics. Finally, Simon performs "American Tune."

Amokachi

College 1862; A.M. 1872
Joseph McGrath

ff0000

Co-founder of Brøderbund Software
Screenwriter, film director, professor
Signer of United States Declaration of Independence
Class of 1929

Popov ,

College 1969, PhD. 1979
Kennedy School of Government 1996
PhD 1951; professor
Historian

Benjamin Eckstein, Lou Dobbs , David Levy

Political analyst for CBS 4 KCNC-TV, host of The Aaron Harber Show on Colorado Public Broadcasting KBDI-TV
College; Society of Fellows

Bulls
N/A
Brandon Scott

College 1926; A.M. 1927

Ryan, Jimmy

Graduate School of Arts and Sciences 1945
B.A. From Harvard University
MPA
Business executive, H. J. Heinz Company; CEO of The Scotts Miracle-Gro Company
College 1940

Anvar Zverev

"At the sound of the tone, the time will be 'tone time.' BEEP! This is The Colbert Report."

U.S. President
Business 2003; cross-registered MIT graduate student

Hierro

Sheikh Dr. Muhammad Sabah Al-Salem Al-Sabah
College 1852

August 2014 , January 2015

Georgi Chukalov

HKS ?

"11 O'Clock Tick Tock"

Alon Yefet

Canadian psychologist; "father of neuropsychology"; President of the American Psychological Association 1960; Fellow of the Royal Society; Chancellor of McGill University 1970–1974
Physician, professor, killer

RUS

College 1908; PhD 1912; Professor
Author of bestselling business books
Theatre director, actor

Rigorous, Industrious, Pragmatical, Creative

Runs

"A small number of people have seen me on the stage. [Television] is a chance for me to play to a vast U.S. public, and I think that's a chance you don't pass up... I'm interested in reaching everybody. I don't want to reach just the people who can pay forty-five or fifty dollars for a [theatre] seat."

College 1877

Stephen starts by talking again about Barack Obama's gas-saving tips. He then interviews Jason Bond about the spider Bond named after him, the Aptostichus stephencolberti. In "Colbert Platinum," Stephen talks about personal shoppers buying cheaper products, a black watermelon being sold at auction for $6,100 and introduces a new "Colbert Diamond Class" for a Qatar oil sheikh who had his car flown to London for an oil change. Finally, he interviews Kevin Costner about his film Swing Vote.

Sven Markus Holgersson

Billy O'Brien

UCF vs. Stanford – Game Summary

College 1901
Government, 1969

"This is the dawning of the Age of Colbertius. This is The Colbert Report."

Stoichkov

Pat Jasinski

Business 1977; Law 1977

Davidov

Stolen bases

Stephen discusses Israel's choice of its national bird. In the "Leviticus Update" segment, he talks about an Israeli rabbi ruling that giraffe is Kosher. Stephen then discusses how high gas prices are affecting airlines. The "Un-American News: U.S. Election Edition" focuses on foreign newspapers' coverage of Barack Obama's presidential campaign. Finally, Stephen interviews David Hajdu about how comic books changed America.

Canadian humanitarian and activist

OhMyGodSocietyIsCollapsing AndWeWillSoonBeDevouring EachOtherInTheStreetsLike DogsAndACrippledOne- EyedBoyWillBeKingIfWe Don'tFixThisByNextWeek!

Union Army general, Medal of Honor recipient, judge, author
Sociologist at Louisiana State University who researched Louisiana politics
College 1914
Education 1983

The Accommodations of Desire

"The following was supposed to contain brief nudity. Thanks a lot, network. This is The Colbert Report."

Silver medalist in Fencing at 2008 Summer Olympics
British Member of Parliament

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Give him a subprime fish loan and you're in business, buddy. This is The Colbert Report."

A.Mihaylov "Natchko"

Chief Justice of the Supreme Court of the Philippines
Mayor of St. Petersburg, Florida, 1961–1967, 1971–1973
Law 1963
Biologist; Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner
Religious scholar, professor

American politician

Gallon, Tiny

Radcliffe 1965
Novelist, noted plagiarist

27th (Patshull) Staffordshire Rifle Volunteer Corps

President of Union Pacific Railroad

"I didn't vote. If I wanted to stand in line for hours, I would be an audience member at my show. This is The Colbert Report."

Arik Benado

Harald Lechner

Lawyer

Hyde in the foreground, with Rick Smith behind and Darren Price on the far right, performing as Underworld

Leading scholar on Chronicles and Chronicler

Colquitt County

College 1995

Burke

Son of Aga Khan III, the 48th Imam of Nizari Ismailism; United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees from 1966 to 1978
PhD 1970

Connecticut vs. UCF – Game Summary

President, The New England College of Optometry

Iraq The Vote

College 1678, A.M. 1681

Abbas Iraqchi

Medical 1943
Physical chemist; Nobel Prize in Chemistry winner
College 1811; A.M. 1814
President of University of Waterloo
College 1749
U.S. presidential candidate, U.S. Congressman
Economist, Nobel Prize winner
Chancellor of University of Michigan-Dearborn

García Aspe

Artist
Professor; dean of Harvard Graduate School of Design
Molecular biologist; Nobel Prize in Chemistry winner
Writer of novels

willia001ned

Heir, CEO of G. D. Searle & Company, conservative philanthropist

Stephen begins by talking about the results for Super Tuesday. He claims that due to Barack Obama winning states with large white populations, the only way that Hillary Clinton can win is by suppressing the white vote. He then interviews Richard Brookhiser about the Republican vote. He then introduces a new segment, "Better Know a Lobbyist," and interviews Joe Solmonese from the Human Rights Campaign about gay rights. Finally, Stephen interviews Tad Devine about superdelegates and the Democratic vote.

Musician and songwriter, David Wax Museum
Law 1947
Actress, Singer

British

August 1955

Derek Kidner

AB 1952 JD 1955

God Don't Never Change

_bul94

Humorist, screenwriter
Law 1881

_bulgaria_010

College 1829; Law 1832

→ Nottingham Forest

United States Senator, 1972 Democratic U.S. vice presidential nominee

José Torres Cadena

President of the United States

Allinea Software Ltd.

College 1977
HKS 1994
Vice President of the United States; global climate change activist; Nobel Peace Prize winner
College 1961

Girona, Spain

Writer, journalist, actor

Stephen begins by mourning the passing of Charlton Heston. He then discusses an interview with Ted Turner in which Turner claimed that, due to global warming, people will turn to cannibalism. He then goes on to talk about Black ops and interviews Trevor Paglen, who has written a book on the subject. In "Democralypse Now," Stephen talks about the resignation of Mark Penn and Hillary Clinton's attempt to attack John McCain. Finally, he interviews Jesse Ventura about his book, Don't Start the Revolution Without Me.
Starter Country

Law 1959

Peter Hopkins, Jared Cohen
Honest Belief
Brushback Pitch

Massachusetts Attorney

Associate Professor of Medicine
Third-party presidential candidate
Playwright, screenwriter
Extension 1979

"If you're just waking up, that's how you celebrate St. Patrick's Day. This is The Colbert Report."

PhD 1971
Felipe Calderón Hinojosa

Kernel of Truth

College 1938; professor
Unitarian Universalist leader
College 1805
Psychiatrist, writer, professor at Harvard University School of Medicine

Roberto Goicoechea

Archie Epps
College 1809; Medical 1813
Law 1910
Comedy writer, producer, and director

"Frère Jacques, Frère Jacques, Dormez-truth. This is The Colbert Report."

Chairman and CEO of The Pepsi Bottling Group
A.M. 1942; PhD 1943; lecturer and associate professor
Outsider artist

_peter1011a

Actor, U.S. Representative

"Early to bed, early to rise makes a man miss my show. This is The Colbert Report."

HBS, 1998

Stephen begins by talking about the Eliot Spitzer scandal. In "The Wørd," he talks about Hillary Clinton's claim that she is ahead in the Democratic primaries because she was won bigger states. Stephen then presents a special repor-t called, "The '72 Democrats: Alone Again Naturally" covering the history of the 1972 Democratic presidential race. Stephen makes clear his dislike of George McGovern, whom he then interviews. This episode marks the first appearance of the phrase "President Bush Have a Hot Dog With Me" in the opening titles.

Radcliffe 1904
Scholar of the classics and folklore
A.M. 1968; PhD 1972
College 1888; Law 1892
College 1909; A.M. 1910; PhD 1914
Chinese American linguist, philosopher and amateur composer
College 1814

Returning Creation

Founder and President of Strong Women, Strong Girls, Inc.
Education 1982
College 1959

Lake Wales, FL

LSD manufacturer

Joël Quiniou

College 1961; Law 1966

Astral Weeks Live.ogg

Historian of homosexual history
NFL Player, Indianapolis Colts

Buffalo Bisons

Irakli Maisuradze

College 1947; A.M. 1949; PhD 1951
cComposer, conductor

Stephen starts by talking about a television adaptation of The Andromeda Strain, in which one character mentions she watches The Colbert Report. In "The Wørd," he talks about a speech he made at Princeton University, and asks students not to change the world. In "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report," he talks about Usain Bolt breaking the 100 metres world record and then interviews Mike Forrester, an American lumberjack sportsman. Finally, Stephen interviews Pat Buchanan about how World War II could have been avoided.

Business 1958

an unknown number of warplanes

American

' "It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas everywhere I go, ' possibly because I live in Macy's. This is The Colbert Report."

Presiding Judge of the Wisconsin Court of Appeals
Law 1978

Balakov

SSE

Harvard Law School 1972
Director, screenwriter, animator
Law 1877

"Happy Columbus Day, if your name is Christopher Columbus. Everybody else back to work. This is The Colbert Report."

Professor Emeritus of Anthropology, Vanderbilt University
Barack Hussein Obama, Sr.
NHL player, Colorado Avalanche
President of the Vermont Film Commission; producer of What We Want, What We Believe: The Black Panther Party Library; Citizen Suits; and A Closer Walk

Encyclopedia of Popular Music

_adidas_thick_stripes_white

David Owen Vaughan

Novelist and writer of short stories
Screenwriter, film director
College 1981
Leading scholar on Jewish history and Christian origins

Fight to the Furnish

Dr. Pedro Albizu Campos
College 1987, Law 1992
Adviser to Obama Campaign, Department of Energy Official
Chief Counsel to the V.P. Al Gore 1994–1997

Richard Smith

"What do I want? My own show! When do I want it? Now! This is The Colbert Report."

College 1977; Law 1984
CEO of Enron; convicted of fraud and conspiracy

Album

League City, TX

College 1883
College 1976
U.S. Army Air Forces aviator in World War II, recipient of the Distinguished Flying Cross and the Air Medal

Stephen begins by talking about how he survived the writers strike. He brings his writers onto the set and welcomes them back personally. He then interviews David Gracer about eating insects. Stephen then introduces a new segment, "Stephen Colbert's Fallback Position," where he investigates different jobs he may take if he loses his job as a pundit. He investigates becoming an astrophysicist with Neil deGrasse Tyson. Finally, he interviews Richard Thompson Ford about the Democrats, and how he thinks the "race card" is being played too often.

College 1910; PhD 1914

Stephen begins by claiming he is reporting from New Orleans. He then talks about the Republican National Convention. Stephen then interviews Susan Eisenhower about her support for Barack Obama. He then shows a campaign commercial made by himself, claiming that the woman behind John McCain is John McCain. Stephen then interviews Doris Kearns Goodwin about Sarah Palin.

Roswell, GA

Home runs

Stephen begins by talking about economic crisis and his anger that the Nobel Prize for Economics went to Paul Krugman. In "The Wørd," he claims that John McCain is a prisoner. In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," Stephen wags his finger at Newsweek and electoral officials in Rensselaer County, New York, and tips his hat to a Japanese cat that saved a train station from bankruptcy by being promoted to station master. Finally, he interviews Joseph Stiglitz about the economic crisis.

Professor of Public Policy; UCLA School of Public Affairs
College 1971
Business 1972
Journalist
President of MTG
M. Education 1968
College 1970; Law 1975
College 1955

Awards for Angela Lansbury

Poet, novelist

Blind Willie Johnson

Trevone Boykin

Mormon Flat Breastworks

College 1996

GER

Iraqchi, Abbas

Philosopher and author
Law 1941

Save Ferris

College 1838

Side One: In The Beginning

United States Ambassador to Nepal , the first US Ambassador of Asian origin
Mayanist scholar and archaeologist

Taped in Philadelphia, the show begins with Stephen talking to a Benjamin Franklin impersonator.. In "The Wørd," he talks about Barack Obama's recent comments on why Americans who live in small towns may be "bitter." He then shows footage of his tour of Philadelphia. Next, Stephen interviews Michelle Obama about her husband's presidential campaign. Finally, The Roots perform "The Star-Spangled Banner."

Education 1973

Ahmed Ali Saleh

College 1978; Business 1981

"Hey, Dunkin' Donuts! America does not run on Dunkin. You guys owe me a new gas tank. This is The Colbert Report."
"Nation, I'm really under the gun. Seriously, I stashed a pistol under my toupée. This is The Colbert Report."

PhD 1954
College 1924, Law 1928
College 1987

The logo for Expedia.com

Galabinov

PhD 1942
HKS 1997
Novelist, essayist, and playwright
PhD 1960

Julia Sweig, Jason Riley

Legal scholar, professor at Yale Law School
Caroline Hoxby
College 1844
Visiting Professor
Sexual freedom scholar, religious philosopher, human rights activist, chief engineer at BBN Technologies, and senior scientist at Science Applications International Corporation
Economics, Grad School M.A. 1972, PhD 1974
Son of Hans-Adam II, Prince of Liechtenstein

FRA

Hoploparia longimana from United Kingdom, on display at Galerie de paléontologie et d'anatomie comparée in Paris

College 1785
President of Kansas State Teachers College from 1913 to 1943
Senator and the Majority Leader of the Senate of the Philippines

Let The Games Begin

Gamecocks
Pirates

Actor, playwright

Stephen briefly mentions today's drop of the Dow Jones Industrial Average. He then discusses last night's South Carolina Democratic debate, as well as Mitt Romney's singing of "Who Let the Dogs Out?" Next, he interviews Malcolm Gladwell about I.Q. tests. He then presents a report on the 1969 Charleston, South Carolina Hospital Workers' Strike. He interviews Andrew Young about the strike and his role in it. Finally, Stephen, Young, Gladwell and the Harlem Gospel Choir sing "Go Down Moses," and Stephen dedicates the performance to his striking writers.

Active

Economist; President of BYU-Idaho
PhD 1969
Business, 1996
foreign correspondent, NPR

Japan

Economist, Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisors
United States Senator, U.S. presidential candidate
Actor, writer, comedian
College 1950; Business 1952
M.B.A. 1940

Demolished in August 1994

Graduate study in history
Philosopher, political scientist
Mahidol Adulyadej, Prince of Songkla , from Siam
Minister of State for Finance, Member of Parliament in the Narendra Modi Ministry, former managing director at Omidyar Network, former Partner at McKinsey & Company
College 1954; Law 1962

"The heat wave is over, but I'm still smokin'. This is The Colbert Report."

PhD student at the time of his death

Stephen talks about a spider escaping on the International Space Station. He then reluctantly praises President-elect Obama's picks for his Cabinet. In "Nailed 'Em," he profiles a woman who was stopped at the Canada – United States border because of her "radical knitting." Finally, Stephen interviews Barbara Walters about her upcoming television special.

College 1895, Law 1898

Stephen begins by announcing that he has won a Peabody Award. The Summer Travel Edition of the "Threatdown:" 5. Pussies! 4. Nipples! 3. Pilots! 2. Birds! 1. Limey Baggage Handlers! Next, Stephen interviews R.E.M. about their new album, Accelerate, as well as politics and their history. Finally, R.E.M. performs their newest single, "Supernatural Superserious".

A.Nikodimov "Paro"

Former CEO of Aetna

"This is The Colbert Report and these are The Roots."

College 1821; Divinity 1829
JD 1973
Law 1925
HKS 1979

American football player

FF0000

Laurence Tribe

Obrien, Billy

College 1963 PhD 1968
College 1961; professor
Retired CEO of Lamar Advertising Company in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and former member of the Louisiana House of Representatives

Stephen starts by talking about the Olympic Flame relay, believing that Tibetan monks are being bullies and that the Flame is suffering the worst. In "The Wørd," he talks about the record donations being made to the Democratic Party and claims that it would be better for them to buy their own country. In "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.," he covers living older, sexual health and surgery. Finally, he interviews Jeff Gore about retiring the penny.

Antonio Sbardella

HKS 2002

"We're starting summer hours here. Thank you and goodnight. This is The Colbert Report."

CEO of Affiliated Managers Group and chairman of the Peabody Essex Museum
Psychoanalyst; first female professor at Harvard Medical School
American diplomat

Stephen starts by talking about his visit to Philadelphia. He then talks about food shortages and predicts that cannibalism will grow in ten years time. Stephen then talks about Pope Benedict XVI's visit to the United States with James Martin. He then interviews Bernie Sanders about socialism. The show finished with Stephen eating his stage manager Bobby. "PRESIDENT BUSH HAVE A HOTDOG WITH ME" returns as the word next to Stephen in the opening credits.

Law 1991
PhD 1958
New York Times columnist
Geneticist; Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner

Stephen talks about Super Tuesday, discussing the best way for the Republicans to choose the most Reagan-like candidate and about Hillary Clinton being the most likely to withstand Republican attacks. He then interviews Angelo Falcon about the Latino vote. Stephen then talks about what he considers to be more light-hearted subjects, including waterboarding. He finally interviews Bob Dole about the elections.

William Packer

Oh, The Places You'll Stay

Mohammed Ali al-Houthi

Business 1955

Gašpar Perušić

More Dollars for the MacGregors

Law 1905

Stephen continues to talk about the indictment of Ted Stevens. In "The Wørd," Stephen talks about the decline of state fairs. He then announces that a spider has been named after him, and that next week, Jason Bond will announce which one it will be. Stephen then gives an apology to Canton, Georgia, after he called it "crappy" on a previous episode. He claims that he meant to refer to Canton, Kansas. He then interviews Crosby, Stills & Nash, and performs "Teach Your Children" alongside them, dressed up as Neil Young.

Actress, Beverly Hills, 90210

Huskies
JP Taravella

Ye Of Little Faith
"I regret that I have but one life to give. I want more lives! This is The Colbert Report."

Expedia

"To the Democrats in the Mile High City: Remember, if you drink liquor at that altitude, you might become interesting. This is The Colbert Report."

HBS 1979

Stephen talks about World Water Day, which leads to a special repor-t, "Watershift Down: Getting The Sea Monkey Off Of America's Aqua-back." He then introduces a new bottled water, Aqua Colbert. Next, he visits the American Museum of Natural History and their "H2O=Life" exhibit. Stephen then interviews Dean Kamen about a potential water crisis and his invention that purifies water. Finally, he briefly mentions John Kanzius, who discovered a way to burn salt water.

Inga S. Bernstein

Stephen talks about John McCain, and about him having a hot dog lunch with George W. Bush. In "The Wørd," he claims that phone companies should be allowed to tap phone calls. In "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, DFA," Stephen talks about surgery and heart health. He then interviews John Legend about his music and his support for Barack Obama. Finally, Stephen sings "The Girl Is Mine" with Legend.

Prime Minister of Finland
Archaeologist, former Dean of Tulane

"I always give 110%, so the way I see it, somebody owes me a 10% refund. This is The Colbert Report."
"Good things come to those who wait. This is The Colbert Report."
"Sarah Palin's getting a book deal, which means Wasilla is getting a bookstore! This is The Colbert Report."

College 1871; Law 1874; PhD 1876
Film composer, music producer, conductor, pianist, drummer, guitarist, multi-instrumentalist

Stephen talks about Barack Obama's 30-minute infomercial. In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," he wags his finger at Apple, Switzerland and Barack Obama. In "The DaColbert Code," he unwillingly predicts that Obama will win the presidential election. He then interviews Jeff Tweedy of Wilco about the election and his band. Finally, Wilco performs an exclusive song.

CEO of Reddit
Former chairman and chief executive officer of the R&B Falcon Corporation
College 1886; PhD 1889; professor

Old Testament studies

McFadden

HKS 1971; Law 1971
College 1916

Facundo
Romualdo Arppi Filho

professor, biologist
HKS 1951
U.S. Navy admiral
HKS 1974
Writer, illustrator

Sana Mir

Law 1995
Author, abolitionist, Colonel
Jay Jasanoff

Piero Ceccarini

Medical 1957

Tamim bin Hamad Al Thani

NFL offensive tackle, Chicago sportscaster

The front face of the colour version of the Xiaomi Mi 4

Comedy writer, multiple Emmy winner, Head Writer for David Letterman Show, The Simpsons
Member, House of Lords

Ts. Veselinov
Raul Osorio

"I'm a man of few words but I say them over and over and over. This is The Colbert Report."

NHL player, New York Islanders

diagonal

George M. Whitesides
Photographer, forester

Stephen introduces his "Stephen Colbert's 3rd Annual Ethnic Minute" . He combines Black History Month with Chinese New Year to celebrate "Black Chinese History New Year Month Minute" and claims the best Black Chinese American to celebrate is Worf from Star Trek: The Next Generation. Mike Huckabee then appears, claiming he still has a chance of become the Republican candidate in the next presidential election. Stephen continues his "Better Know a Lobbyist" interview with Joe Solmonese which started in the previous episode. He then talks to Mark Moffett about frogs.

Diego De Leo

attended 1967–68
President of Grantham University

Failla

PhD 1994
Law 1955

Stephen continues to pretend he's in Denver. He talks about John McCain choosing Sarah Palin as his running mate, and about Barack Obama accepting the Democratic Party's nomination for President. He then interviews Terrell Davis via satellite about his opinion of Obama's acceptance speech. In "Better Know a Lobby," Stephen gets to know the atheist lobby. He then interviews John McWhorter about politics. Finally, Stephen stops his microwave oven, which had been running since the start of the Democratic National Convention.

Perrotta

Air National Guard general

gyroscope,

College 1905, Law 1909
College 1830; Law 1833
Lawyer, Assistant to President Barack Obama; Chief of Staff to First Lady Michelle Obama; Executive Director of the White House Council on Women and Girls
College 1780
College 1960; University professor

November 1968

College 1885; A.M. 1889; Law 1889

Bureau of the Central Committee of the Russian Communist Party (bolsheviks)

_3_stripes_red

Surgeon; Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner

"Astral Weeks songs...were from another sort of place—not what is at all obvious. They are poetry and mythical musings channeled from my imagination...[They] are little poetic stories I made up and set to music. The album is about song craft for me—making things up and making them fit to a tune I have arranged. The songs were somewhat channeled works—that is why I called it 'Astral Weeks'. As my songwriting has gone on I tend to do the same channeling, so it's sort of like 'Astral Decades', I guess."

College 1961; PhD 1964

Since July 2014: "The Fastest & Most Gorgeous Mi Phone Ever."

Justice of the High Court of Australia

Workers World Party Presidential candidate

in South Hampton, NH

Law 1950

June 1995

College 1803
Attorney, land developer
Paleontologist
Chief operations officer and vice president for mergers and acquisitions of Lamar Advertising and former member of the Louisiana House of Representatives

Hristo Kolev

Novelist, poet, short story writer, critic
College 1946; A.M. 1948
Founder and President of R. G. Niederhoffer Capital Management, Inc.

P.O.W.

Nobel Prize in Chemistry winner

Milanov

Professor of pediatrics, physician
Boston Globe journalist
Medical doctor and pioneer in diabetes research
President of the Eastern Nazarene College 1919–1923
S.M. 1975; PhD 1977
Business, 1960
Radcliffe 1980

Rick Smith

Dermot Gallagher

College 1950
Edwin O. Reischauer

Stephen begins by discussing a recent John McCain rally, in which opening speaker Bill Cunningham said negative things about Barack Obama. The "Threatdown:" 5. Monopoly! 4. Richard Branson! 3. Bankruptcy! 2. John McCain! 1. Starbucks! He then talks about all Starbucks locations closing for three hours to re-train employees. Finally, Stephen interviews Tony Snow about his experience as White House Press Secretary.

Baseball coach
HKS – 1999
President of Tyler Corporation of Texas 1983-1986; chairman of the Republican Party of Texas 1988-1994
College 1921
Law 1967

Stephen starts by talking about John McCain and his support from John Hagee. Stephen expresses his anger of Hagee's views about Catholics. However, as a Christian, he is forced to turn the other cheek. Therefore, Stephen gets William Donohue to express his anger for him. In "The Wørd," he talks about McCain's continued claims of experience, but only over certain things. Next, Howard Dean calls Stephen to talk about the primaries. In "Nailed 'Em," he talks about a six-year-old girl who was cited for vandalism after drawing on the pavement in front of her front door with chalk. Finally, Stephen interviews Jennifer 8. Lee about Chinese food.

Canadian diplomat
College 1821
U.S. Army soldier killed in the Vietnam War, Medal of Honor recipient
Former leader of Parti Québécois
KSG 1949
Physician, businessman, murder victim
Physicist; Nobel Prize in Physics

Warden of Tyndale House

In support of:

Hoploparia longimana

First president of the University of Florida 1905–1909

Musician

Stephen starts with the economic crisis and the news that John McCain is suspending his campaign to help solve the crisis. He responds by suspending his show, then suspends the suspension and returns. He then interviews Joe Nocera about the crisis. In "Alpha Dog of the Week," Stephen praises Bill Bennett for attacking some "intellectuals" views of Sarah Palin. He then interviews Cornel West about his book Hope on a Tightrope.

College 1957; Law 1962

Maccabi Haifa captain

Special Prosecutor in the Plame affair; United States Attorney
Writer, namesake of Emerson Hall
HKS 2001, Medical 2001
College 1859
Law 1858
Professor at the Department of Physics

Stephen again discusses Barack Obama's trip abroad. He then talks about a rift in the Anglican church regarding homosexuals being ordained priests. Stephen then interviews Laurie Goodstein on the topic. The "ThreatDown:" 4. New Age Healers! 3. Greek Courts! 2. Granite Countertops! Finally, Stephen interviews Garrett Reisman about his time in space.

Academic Exchange of one year

_shoulder_stripes_red_stripes

The White Horse

Antonio Ribeiro Saldanha

PhD 1964
College 1988–1992
Governor of Virginia, U.S. Senator
Coxwain at 1928 Summer Olympics
Law 1985

A Group, 10th

Abdul Rahman Al-Zeid

Harvard 1915

UCF vs. Temple – Game Summary

Barack-Handed Compliment

Minister, founder of Massachusetts General Hospital

Love Lost

"I was a wife and a mother, and I was completely fulfilled. But my husband recognised the signals in me which said 'I've been doing enough gardening, I've cooked enough good dinners, I've sat around the house and mooned about what more interior decoration I can get my fingers into.' It's a curious thing with actors and actresses, but suddenly the alarm goes off. My husband is a very sensitive person to my moods and he recognised the fact that I had to get on with something. Mame came along out of the blue just at this time. Now isn't that a miracle?."

Writer, artist, critic

Matthäus

Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan

College 1740; A.M. 1743

Stephen starts by talking about the economic crisis, including his own problems. He therefore gets some advice from his financial advisor Gorlock. Stephen then interviews Tyson Slocum about plans to expand offshore drilling in order to help solve the economic crisis, and current scandals at the United States Department of the Interior. The "ThreatDown:" 5: Russia! 4: Bobcats! 3: Scientists! 2: Rat-Bots! 1: Icebergs! Stephen then interviews Rick Reilly about the charity Nothing but Nets.

Sc. D. 1919
Spiritual leader of Shia Ismaili branch of Islam

Second Leg

Arthur Harold Webber
Journalist, political analyst

Bonanno

faculty member in 1955

Join The European Union

Chief Judge of the High Court of Hong Kong
Design 1955

Gerard Valentín Sancho

Qīngdǎo Lǐgōng Dàxué

Adam Brickley, Ron Paul

College 1907
College 1887

"I'm Stephen Colbert, the most trusted name in the name of my show. This is The Colbert Report."

Law 1946

"A Day Without Me"

Garrincha
Kim Jong-Boo

College 1748

Stephen begins by discussing General Petraeus' promotion to chief of United States Central Command. The "Threatdown:" 5. Little League! 4. Bulls! 3. Bees! 2. Rationing! 1. Bears! In the "Difference Makers" segment, Stephen profiles a man in Atlanta, Georgia who invented a "Bumbot", designed to chase away bums. Finally, Stephen interviews Maria Shriver about her new book, Just Who Will You Be?
Tradition

Novelist, best known for Jurassic Park and the television series ER
President of The University of Texas at Austin
Samuel P. Huntington

Stephen discusses Fred Thompson dropping out of the U.S. presidential election. This leads to "Sam Waterston Says Things You Should Never Believe In A Trustworthy Manner." He then dedicates the remainder of the show to the "Sport Report." He begins by talking about reports of New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady injuring his ankle. He then encourages people to buy his WristStrong bracelets and send them to Brady. Next, Stephen interviews Marie Wood about the Yellow Ribbon Fund. He then interviews Jeb Corliss about his attempted jump off the Empire State Building. Finally, Stephen interviews Andrew McLean about extreme skiing.

Mehdi Akhondzadeh

Surgeon and medical educator
HKS 1986

Asparuhov

Law 1988
College 1755
Undergraduate 1983, Law 1986
Securities fraud
College 1795

Yi Chuijie

Founder and leader of independence movement of Kosovo; Minister of Foreign Affairs of Kosovo 1991–2000; Deputy Prime Minister
U.N. Representative and National Endowment for Democracy President

*Buffalo Bisons
*Detroit Wolverines
*Boston Beaneaters
*Boston Reds
*Washington Senators
*New York Giants

Comedian

Supported by:

Provost of New York Film Academy

Qingdao Technological University

College 1790
College c. 1932
AB 1963
Writer; daughter of John F. Kennedy

Stephen begins by talking about an article which states that a woman's voice becomes sexier when she is ovulating. In "The Wørd," he argues that George W. Bush is not as big a political liablilty as Jeremiah Wright. In a special edition of "Stephen's Sound Advice," he talks about Karl Rove's advice on how to win the election. Finally, Stephen interviews Nathan Gunn about opera.
Stephen starts with a "Shout Out" to George Foster Peabody for winning the "Stephen T. Colbert Award in Excellence for Recognizing Excellence." He then talks about comments made by Sean Hannity. Stephen then talks about cookies no longer being the most popular snack for children under the age of 6, blaming Cookie Monster for eating fruit. This results in Cookie Monster making a guest appearance. Finally, he interviews N. T. Wright on Christianity and heaven. During the signing off, Stephen notices his Peabody is missing, which Cookie Monster noticed before and described it as looking like a cookie, but Stephen slaps his hand away. When he notices his Peabody is missing, he asks, "Cookie Monster, did you eat my Peabody?"

Law 1980

Juan Gardeazábal Garay

Computer security expert

Karachi

Chairman and CEO of Viacom

Penev

President, The Loyola Marymount University
College 1972; A.M. 1974; PhD 1976

TUR

January 2013
Screenwriter

South Hampton Road

College 1915
American football All-American player for the Harvard Crimson and the NFL; Harvard coach
Biochemist; Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner
A.M. 1960; Law 1965

"Take everything I say with a grain of salt because my new sponsor...is salt. This is The Colbert Report."

Film composer and music producer
Philippine Senator, nationalist and civil libertarian

—Lester Bangs, .

Steven Pinker

Genesis: an introduction and commentary

La Francophonie
Conference of Niamey

Mohammad bin Salman Al Saud

Corporate lawyer at Cravath, Swaine & Moore, U.S. Assistant Secretary of the Treasury for Financial Stability, nominee to chair the Commodity Futures Trading Commission
Former Director, Centre for the Study of Christianity and Culture, University of Oxford

Stephen still continues to pretend he is in Denver. In "The Wørd," he discusses Barack Obama's acceptance speech and his life in the 1960s. Stephen then talks about the roll call vote to nominate Obama as the Democratic Party nominee for President, and mentions the problems with the vote from Guam. Finally, he talks to Rick Brookhiser about George Washington.

Medical 1884
Professor, Harvard Medical School
Artist, abstract landscapes

Vasel Mitkov

Blowin' Your Mind!

Historian, novelist
United States Ambassador to Ukraine from 1993 to 1998
U.S. presidential candidate and Senatorial candidate
United States Secretary of the Interior, Governor of Arizona
Law 1921

Stephen starts by talking about the end of Barack Obama's trip abroad, and John McCain's claims of media bias. He says that he was planning to comment on Robert Novak running over a cyclist, but because of Novak's ill health, he did not consider it appropriate. In "Stephen Colbert's Trigger Happy," he covers the District of Columbia v. Heller case, allowing guns in national parks and a special gun being made for the Heller ruling. He then talks to Toby Keith about his film Beer for My Horses. Finally, Keith performs "Beer for My Horses."

left

Business theorist

"Daylight Savings Time starts Sunday. Maybe that'll get us out of this daylight debt crisis. This is The Colbert Report."

Business 1988

"Forget the wind. The answer, my friend, is blowin' out my mouth. This is The Colbert Report."
Stephen begins by talking about the second presidential debate which was a town hall forum. He supports the idea of town hall forums and hold his own. The "ThreatDown:" 4. The Obama Channel! 3. Bulls! 2. Bears! 1. Zombies! He then talks about the nationalization of American banks and the believe that this is a path to communism, and claims that libraries are communist because everything in them is free. Finally, Stephen interviews Nate Silver, who predicts election results the same way he predicts baseball games.

Clinton, Massachusetts

Economist; Nobel Prize in Economics winner

Chumpitaz

61 MB

College 1925; Business 1926
Law 1973

Blame Monica Goodling
"Only 21 more 'can't afford to go shopping' days until Christmas. This is The Colbert Report."

First president of APA and Clark University
President of Gratz College

"Hey, Ben Bernanke. Stop telling us about your sagging growth. This is The Colbert Report."

Business 1954
Foreign Minister of Thailand
President of the United States; namesake of Kennedy School of Government
Crown Prince of Perak, Malaysia
Neuropsychiatry; Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner
College 1949
College 1981, Law 1984
President and CEO, Neiman Marcus department stores
Spartacus is not a reliable source per various discussion on WP:RSN

Carlos Megia Davila

FIU vs. UCF – Game Summary
D'erron Wilson

Harlem Renaissance writer, essayist, poet

Perusic

Medical 1869
Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner

Bartosz Frankowski

Benado, Arik

Political scientist; controversial author of Hitler's Willing Executioners
Washington Post columnist

"The names in this broadcast have been changed to protect the innocent. This is The Molbert Report."

College 1939; A.M. 1940
Law 1901

"Hey, Liquid Paper! Your bottle should say you don't work on computer screens. This is The Colbert Report."

Lyricist, librettist

Alboraya, Spain

Film and theater executive, producer; The Princess Bride, Hair, Passing Strange, West Side Story; six-time Tony winner
Member of the Pahlavi Imperial Family of Iran ; younger son of the former Shah of Persia , Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, and his third wife Empress Farah Pahlavi; second in order of succession to the Iranian throne before the Iranian Revolution

MDA

College 1909, PhD 1912

Лъвовете

Actress, Academy Award winner

López Oliva

CEO of Viridor and joint CEO of Pennon Group

Bodurov

Declaration Of Warming
"Warning: I may contain more than a trace amount of nut. This is The Colbert Report."

Business 1947; Law 1949
Miss America 2003
Master of Laws 1985
W. V. Quine
College 1949; Law 1953
A.M.
MPH

Dallas, TX

United States Secretary of Energy, United States Senator

Milwaukee Grays

Scholar
US Ambassador to Austria, 2005–2007

A. Dunai

Conductor
Journalist, NBC News
Novelist, lawyer
Government, Grad School 1967
Kim B. Clark

Husband NAMES

College 1958, Law 1961
Actor and composer
College 1977; Business 1982
College 1957; PhD 1961

glass

British politician

August 2015

Vaughan playing for Blackpool during the 2010–11 Premier League season

College 1960

"Hey, did you guys see tonight's episode of The Colbert Report? This is The Colbert Report."

HKS 1955
College 1829; professor

_adidasonwhite

Boston Globe columnist

"Hey, pants! Why should I have to put you on one leg at a time? I'm not like everybody else. This is The Colbert Report."

College 1991
State supreme court justice from Oregon
PhD, 1962
Poet, physician
Radcliffe 1979
College 1826

Stephen talks about Starbucks' closing of 600 stores. He then says that to combat the United States dollar's loss of value against the euro, America should join the European Union. He then talks about accusations that Fox News is racist, as well as the feud between Nas and Bill O'Reilly. Stephen then interviews Nas about the feud and his new album, Untitled. Finally, Nas performs "Sly Fox."

Anthropologist, author, Polynesian Voyaging Society co-founder
Writer

This is a "no smoking" building. Then what am I doing here? This is The Colbert Report."

Law 1962
M.A. Greek 1896
Vice President of the United States
College 1944

Abner Dalrymple

Map-Francophonie organisation fr.svg

College 1920 and Law School 1929

Loko

Stephen begins by saying that J.D. Salinger refuses to come on his show. He then talks about the Jeremiah Wright controversy. He talks to Donna Brazile about Barack Obama and how the Wright controversy is being dealt with. Stephen then talks about the people of Guam voting in the current campaign. He then repeats the "Better Know a Protectorate" interview with Madeleine Bordallo. Finally, Stephen interviews Noah Feldman about the constitution of Iraq.
Stephen continues to pretend that he is reporting live from Denver. He then claims that it wasn't Sasha Obama saying goodnight to Barack Obama at the Democratic National Convention, referring to an incident at the Olympics. Stephen talks about Hillary Clinton's speech at the convention. He then looks at the life of a repo man named Scott O'Brien. Stephen then interviews Mike Huckabee about the presidential election. He ends by mourning the passing of Stephanie Tubbs Jones and plays part of her Better Know a District interview.

Founder of Lesley University
Medical 1988; PhD 1990; Professor
College 1965

Petráš

S.M. 1988; PhD 1990
Chairman, Barclays PLC

दोलालघाट

Ariel Benado

Scientist; Nobel Prize in Physics winner
United States Senator, Governor of Florida, U.S. presidential candidate
Physicist; Nobel Prize in Physics winner
Philosopher, poet

Holgersson playing for Wigan Athletic, 2014

College 2003

Stephen begins by talking about job losses at Starbucks. He then talks about the United Nations trying to fight global warming and talks to Brendan I. Koerner about environmental issues. In "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.," Stephen talks about toxins in lobsters, "Truman Show Delusion" and germs that are resistant to chlorine. He then interviews Buzz Aldrin about his experiences as an astronaut.

Radcliffe College

Paris Dam

Adelaide, South Australia

Incumbent

"If I had a nickel for every time I was wrong, I'd be broke. This is The Colbert Report."

College 1980
Pioneering organic chemist
College; PhD 1836; professor

Rodrigo Badilla

Mayor of Prishtina

"Do not store me near an open flame. My contents are under pressure. This is The Colbert Report."

Professor at the University of California, Berkeley whose studies showed that the brain develops into adulthood based on life experiences
Music producer, singer-songwriter, musical arranger
A.B. 1972; PhD 1977

Mammalia

College 1766
PhD 1961

FFFFFF

Architect, Pritzker Prize winner
PhD 1982; President ; Professor

Richardson, Hardy

Morgan vicinity

Union Army general, Medal of Honor recipient, businessman, ambassador to France

"Good fences make good neighbors and good neighbors make good fences. Get on it, Mexico. This is The Colbert Report."

Jack Taylor

Stephen starts by grieving over the final Democratic primaries and expressing his anger that it is now over. In "The Wørd," he suggests that in order to continue the War on Terror, Hezbollah and Al-Qaeda should fight each other. In "Stephen's Sound Advice," he gives advice on finding a summer job. Finally, he interviews George Will about conservatism; Will states that he is an agnostic.

Saudi Arabia-led intervention in Yemen

Stephen discusses the previous night's Republican presidential debate. He then interviews Tim Harford about logic. In the "People Destroying America" segment, Stephen profiles Lowell Kuvin, a resident of Coral Gables, Florida, who wants to park his truck on the street overnight. Finally, Stephen interviews Andrew Napolitano about his new book, A Nation Of Sheep.

PhD 1953
College 1987; S.M. 1993; PhD 1999
College 1986
College 1958; A.M. 1959; PhD 1965

Perusic, Gaspar

Destrehen, LA

HBS
Astronomer, mathematician

Guillermo Velasquez

Official language

Morgan Elementary School

Crown Princess Masako of Japan

Holgersson, Markus

Washington Post publisher
Medical 1834
M.S nutrition

Headquarters

College 2009
Son of late Emir of Kuwait, Sheikh Sabah III Al-Salim Al-Sabah; Ambassador of Kuwait to the United States from 1993 to 2003; Minister of Foreign Affairs of Kuwait from 2003 to 2011; current Deputy Prime Minister of Kuwait; his elder brother is Sheikh Salem Sabah Al-Salem Al-Sabah, former Defense and Interior Minister
College 1976, MBA 1980
College 1954
Minister of Trade of Indonesia

"There are eight million stories in the Naked City; most would look better with their clothes on. This is The Colbert Report."

Jazz saxophonist
Convicted felon and former Boston City Council Member

Mario Sánchez Yanten

Chile Minister of Labor and Social Security; Minister of Mines 1978–1980; enacted world's first system of private retirement accounts; known as one of the Chicago Boys

Jesuit

Abdul-Malik al-Houthi

Economist, Nobel Prize 2005
College 1937; Law 1941

Stephen begins by talking about Earth Day. He then moves on to coverage of the Pennsylvania Democratic primary and The Colbert Report's coverage of it. Stephen talks about the accusations that Barack Obama copied Hillary Clinton in terms of appearing on his show, and claims that Obama has copied Clinton in other ways. In "Better Know a District," Stephen interviews Joe Sestak from Pennsylvania's 7th district. Finally, he interviews Susan Jacoby on anti-intellectualism.

Lawyer from Dallas; member of the Texas House of Representatives
MBA
Computer scientist; designer of the Harvard Mark I
PhD 1982
Entrepreneur, businessman, political activist
Advocate General at the European Court of Justice
HKS 2007
Geologist, founder of the Hawaiian Volcano Observatory

"Happy Cinco de Mayo. Remember, tomorrow's a great day to buy a used piñata. This is The Colbert Report.
"You say tom-ah-to, I say this is The Colbert Report."
"You put your left foot in, you take your left foot out. You put your left foot in and you shake it all about. Who knew restless leg syndrome was so much fun? This is The Colbert Report."

Chairperson of the computer science program at Tufts University; professor of computer science and mathematics

Arthropoda

"Astral Weeks did not sell as an album, even still today. A lot of people like it, mostly musicians and other artists and writers etc. like it, but as an album, it didn't sell."

GSAS 1976

Burruchaga

College 1838, Law 1840
College 1874

Croatian nobleman

Accused of espionage on behalf of the Soviet Union
George Washington's personal secretary
College 1797
PhD 1943
College 1856

Uninhabited

Benjamin Eckstein, Deborah Tannen

Benjamin E. Mays High School

College 1975; Law 1978
Member of the Royal and Ducal House of Bourbon-Parma, as well of the Dutch Royal Family; fourth and youngest child of Princess Irene of the Netherlands and Carlos Hugo, Duke of Parma
College 1978; Law 1982
Seda Pumpyanskaya

Stephen briefly mentions the arrest and indictment of Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich. He then shows off The Colbert Report Christmas tree and his "Nixmas Tree" and Nixon menorah. This leads to a discussion on Frost/Nixon and he interviews Kevin Bacon about the film. As a prelude to Thursday's new episode of Tek Jansen, Stephen shows the previous installment. Finally, he interviews Charlie Kaufman about his new film, Synecdoche, New York.

Bearcats

"It's my last show before Thanksgiving, so I'm going to pardon my turkey. I'm puttin' pardon my stomach and pardon some sandwiches. This is The Colbert Report."

College 1772
A.M. 1954; PhD 1955
Harvard Medical College 1959
Pakistani artist famous for his paintings and Islamic calligraphy; qualified engineer
Author, newspaper correspondent

Good Bad Journalism

Your Trip, Your Way.

Pulido Rodríguez

Special prosecutor in the Watergate Scandal

August 1975

College 1980–1984
Radcliffe 1968
Law 1951
College 1946; A.M. 1947
College 1909; Law 1911
IOP Fellow 2000

* Yemeni Republican Guard
* Yemeni Air Force
**Air Defence
Iran

TCU Horned Frogs

Law, 1919, Business 1921
Pianist, composer
dean of Howard University Law School, lawyer for NAACP
Law 1961

Stephen talks about his hate for John McCain, which he is forced to set aside to support him as the Republican presidential nominee. In "The Wørd," Stephen explains how McCain is like a boyfriend who the country could get used to after getting to know him better. In the "Colbert Platinum" segment, he talks about fake Ferraris and the destruction of homes in Liechtenstein. Finally, Stephen interviews Geraldo Rivera about his new book, His Panic.

Law 1976

Dalrymple, Abner

College 1811; Medical 1815

Luke Hiers

College 1944; Law 1947

"The price of stamps rose a penny. Sweet, I just made twenty cents on my pack of "forever stamps." This is The Colbert Report."
Stephen begins with the economic crisis. In "The Wørd," he talks about allegations that the National Security Agency eavesdropped on U.S. soldiers' telephone conversations that involved phone sex. Stephen then presents a "Lame Sports Edition" of "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report," which features the World Mind Sports Games, the Escape from Berkeley road race, and the Tampa Bay Rays. Finally, he interviews Tina Brown about The Daily Beast website. In the opening credits, the word next to Stephen changes to VOTE.
Stephen begins by talking about Reverend Jeremiah Wright's remarks about racism and how Barack Obama reacted. He then talks about his upcoming shows in Philadelphia and press rumors that he is restarting his presidential campaign. He denies this and announces his new segment, "Stephen Colbert's Doritos Spicy Sweet Pennsylvania Primary Coverage Live from Chilidelphia: The City of Brotherly Crunch." In "Das Booty: The Hunt for Hitler's Gold," Stephen discusses the rising price of gold. Due to a previous search for Hitler's gold being canceled, Stephen sends Kareem Abdul-Jabbar to find it. He then interviews Carole King about her music career. Finally, King sings "I Feel the Earth Move."

Astrophysicist, Director of the Hayden Planetarium, Television Host

Free Agent

青島理工大學

PhD 1920

Abbas

A.M. 1986; PhD 1988

_3_stripes_white

Economics 1981

Kennedy

LE15

UCF vs. Cincinnati – Game Summary

Current: MIUI 7, released

President of the New York Theological Seminary
Bassist, percussionist, backing vocals, and songwriter for Boyce Avenue

Stephen talks about his "feud" with Kanye West and brags that A Colbert Christmas is now ahead of West's album on the iTunes charts. He then interviews Bob Graham about a potential biological weapons attack on America. In "Movies That Are Destroying America," he profiles Yes Man, Revolutionary Road and Miracle on 34th Street. Finally, Stephen interviews Nicholas Wade about using DNA to clone a woolly mammoth.

College 1936; professor
S.M. 1962; PhD 1966
Actor, Academy Award nominee

– Angela Lansbury, 2014.

A.M. 1981; PhD 1985

Liberty Union Party Presidential candidate

"If life gives you lemons, save the receipt. This is The Colbert Report."

Business 1966

Stephen begins by declaring racism over after the election of Barack Obama and interviews Cory Booker about it. In "Stephen Colbert's meTunes," he discusses new albums from John Legend, Toby Keith and Guns N' Roses. Stephen then interviews Thomas Friedman about the environment. Finally, Stephen plugs his upcoming Christmas special.
Stephen begins by discussing the election of Barack Obama as President of the United States. In "The Wørd," he argues that using fear in politics has collapsed like the housing bubble. The "ThreatDown:" 5. Sensitivity! 4. Cory Booker! 3. Universal Healthcare! 2. Barnyard Animals! 1. Black Presidents! Finally, Stephen interviews Andrew Young about Obama's election. The word that appears next to Stephen in the opening credits changes to "FACTOSE INTOLERANT."

Professor of Law, George Washington University
Pianist
Industrialist, president of Merck & Co.
Founder of Bruce Fein & Associates, Inc.; principal civil liberties activist in The Lichfield Group; analyst and commentator for conservative think tanks; top Justice Department official under Ronald Reagan administration; Senior Policy Advisor for the Ron Paul 2012 presidential campaign
News anchor of CNBC
College 1947
College 1777

Iranian diplomat

Business 1940; HKS 1949
Masters; PhD
Poet, writer

Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud

H. longimana

Brendon Hayes

Flag of La Francophonie.svg

"If it's called the USA Today, why's all the news from yesterday? Busted! This is The Colbert Report."

St. Thomas Aquinas

Pakistan

Stephen starts by talking about John McCain wanting to postpone the first presidential debate. In "Stephen Settles the Debate," he decides who is better: Franklin D. Roosevelt or Teddy Roosevelt. Stephen then talks about Sarah Palin and interviews National Organization for Women president Kim Gandy about Palin. Finally, he interviews Nick Carr, who believes that the internet makes people concentrate less.

Minister of Energy in Kenya
College 2000
College 1950, PhD. 1954

"Hey Cupid, put on some damn pants! No one wants to see baby bits! This is The Colbert Report."

Law 1849
MD of Alkeon Capital, youngest Head of Strategy for NYMEX and subject of best-selling book 'Rigged: The Ivy League Kid who Changed the World of Oil From Wall Street to Dubai'
College 1879
Novelist, screenwriter
Chief Justice of Massachusetts Supreme Court
Unabomber terrorist, murderer
College 1865, Law 1868

Ferrán Giner Peris

New Haven, Connecticut, United States

PhD 1918
PhD 1993
College 1908
College 1979; Business 1981

"Beauty isn't in the eye of the beholder; I've checked. There's nothing in there but veins and goo. This is The Colbert Report."

Nielsen

A.M. 1959; PhD 1964

Miami, FL

Silver medalist in rowing at 1984 Summer Olympics
PhD 1922; Professor
College 1912
Founder of Partners in Health
Chief rabbi at Yeshivat Har Etzion in the West Bank; son-in-law and disciple of Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik
Deafblind author, activist, and lecturer
Composer, pianist
NHL player, Toronto Maple Leafs, Buffalo Sabres, San Jose Sharks
United States Senator, 1960 Republican U.S. vice presidential nominee
Indian Member of Parliament and Union Minister of State for IT and Communications

Nina Packer

per WP:CIRCULAR

Semi-Finals: 1994

Delaware 87ers

Scholar of Islamic, Hindu and Sikh traditions of South Asia; co-founder of the Sikh Coalition

Iranian

M. Petrov

Chemist; Nobel Prize winner

Houston vs. UCF – Game Summary

College 1988; professor
Los Angeles Times journalist
Design 1946
College 1904
Foreign Minister of Kuwait
Chairman and CEO of General Electric

* NL home run leader

Writer, Chevalier of the National Order of Merit

Yemen

Business 1971
Cell biologist; Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner

the Yemeni Civil War (2015)

Virologist; Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner
College 1786

Hallandale Beach, FL

April 2015

College 1793
HKS 1968

NIG

First Coast

HKS 2005

HD video at 30 frame/s,

Professor of English and American Literature and Language, the Walter M. Cabot Professor of Aesthetics and the General Theory of Value

Ali Bujsaim

Impala User Association

"I promise to deliver the truth in the next thirty minutes or it's free. This is The Colbert Report."

Architect

"Hey Obama, try to plagiarize this: This is The Colbert Report."
"Early to bed and early to rise makes you a loser. Let's party all night long. This is The Colbert Report."

Iraqchi

General Treasurer of Rhode Island

Stephen starts by talking about the indictment of Ted Stevens. He then talks about John McCain encouraging people to wear sunscreen and his visit to the Dalai Lama. In "The Wørd," Stephen discusses the use of torture on terror suspects. In the 52nd part of "Better Know a District," he interviews Carolyn B. Maloney from New York's 14th. Finally, Stephen interviews Eric Roston about the environmental effect of carbon emissions.
Stephen begins by mentioning General Petraeus' testimony to Congress. He then discusses next week's shows being taped in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and shows more drawings of the presidential candidates, done by children in Pennsylvania schools. Stephen then talks about the "Santa Clausification" of Martin Luther King, Jr. In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," he wags his finger at talking fish, tips his hat to the black drum and wags his finger to Time's Time 100. Finally, Stephen interviews Robin Wright about the future of the Middle East.

imdb.com

Stephen talks about Pope Benedict XVI visiting New York and he tries to tempt the Pope to come on the show. He then talks about his donorschoose.org campaign. Next, he shows some drawings of the presidential candidates, done by children in Pennsylvania schools. Stephen then goes on to talk about Wilford Brimley backing John McCain in the presidential race, and plays a phone call between "Brimley" and himself. Finally, Stephen interviews Madeleine Albright about her book, Memo to the President Elect.

Law 1992
Founding partner, Bain Capital
Louis Agassiz Shaw II {1906–1987}

Stephen begins by talking about the failure of a bailout bill in the U.S. House to help with the economic crisis. He then talks about the lift of the ban on offshore drilling and shows a commercial from a company called "Prescott Oil." In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," Stephen wags his finger at The New York Times and tips his hat to Bette Midler and Wall Street "jagoffs." Finally, he interviews James Taylor, who performs the song " Road Runner."

State Representative from Massachusetts

Damir Skomina

Historian, scholar of historical ethnography
Tamil Malaysian businessman and philanthropist

Stephen starts by talking about the Time 100 and attacking Rain, who is still ahead of him in the poll. In "The Wørd," he talks about the results of the Pennsylvania Democratic primary. In "Colbert Platinum," he talks about underwater convertibles, buying the remains of dinosaurs, and Caffé Raro, the most expensive coffee in the world. Stephen then interviews Mitch Albom about his books. He ends by talking about "The Lost O'Reilly Tapes," which he claims is two minutes of lost footage from his interview with Bill O'Reilly.

PhD 1939; professor; namesake of Reischauer Institute

Hamad bin Isa Al Khalifa

Civil engineer
Consort of Crown Prince Naruhito, the first son of Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko; member of the Imperial House of Japan through marriage

Runners-Up: 1968

Sinologist, professor

Ljungberg

Naturalist, writer and explorer
Governor of Massachusetts, organizer of Boston Tea Party
Theoretical physicist, activist
PhD 1948
Ambassador
New Jersey State Attorney General
PhD 1984, Senior Tutor of Winthrop House
Law 2007
American football All-American player for the Harvard Crimson and the NFL; centenarian
Business 1951
HKS 1980
liberal political commentator, founder of Democracy Now!

David Vaughan

Governor of Virginia, U.S. Senator, co-founder of Nextel

Stephen begins by talking about his coverage of the Republican National Convention, saying that he is now back in Saint Paul. He then talks about John McCain accepting the Republican Party's nomination for President, which he did in front of a "Green Screen," resulting in Stephen creating another "Green Screen Challenge." He then presents a "Better Know a District Update," in which he reports that Lynn Westmoreland called Barack and Michelle Obama "uppity." He then interviews David Paterson about his role as Governor of New York.

Albert
Ghazouani

College 1992
President of Ithaca College
Former Indian Union Minister of Commerce and Industry

Stephen starts by talking about a photo of Barack Obama in native Kenyan clothes, claiming he is a terrorist. He then discusses a New York Times article about the John McCain lobbyist controversy. In the "Oscars That Are Destroying America" segment, he attacks the fact that too many awards went to foreigners. Finally, Stephen interviews Henry Louis Gates, Jr. about race.

PhD 1959; professor
Management theorist

"Égalité, complémentarité, solidarité"

College 1975; Law 1980

First edition

Discovered Hoag's object
Professor of Philosophy at the University of Maryland, College Park

Snellville

Bene

Economist, diplomat, and language veteran from Bangladesh
MBA, 2002
U.S. Air Force general

Michel Kitabdjian

Reformation historian and author

Placebo
Stephen begins by talking about the Time 100 and losing again to Rain and, again, issues his dance-off challenge to him. In "The Wørd," he talks about Hillary Clinton and John McCain's plan for a gas tax holiday. Stephen then talks about Rain's movie debut in the film Speed Racer. In "Alpha Dog of the Week," he congratulates an anonymous Tennessee 911 operator who fell asleep during an emergency call. He then interviews Carl Hiaasen about his book, The Downhill Lie. Rain then turns up for the dance-off.

Stockbridge, GA

United States Department of Education official

Neal Nelson

_bulh06

Professor and scholar; Mashtots Professor of Armenian Studies, Harvard University
M.A. 1926 PhD 1927
College 1932

"How do you get to Carnegie Hall? Limo, limo, limo. This is The Colbert Report."

HKS 1980; PhD 1984
Leading scholar on American history and literature
College 1964; Medical 1969

Jimmy Ryan

bottom

A.M. 1928; PhD 1934

Josip Drago Horvat

William R. Kenan, Jr. Professor of Government at Harvard University
A.M. 1969, PhD 1972
College; A.M.; PhD
Entomologist; founder of UCB's Entomology Department

Gerhard Schulenburg

United States Senator, comedian, actor

Stephen begins by taking credit for The New York Times putting a clue relating to John McCain in their crossword. He then talks about the economic crisis. Stephen blames computers for the crisis and talks to Bethany McLean about how they can be stopped. In "Stephen Colbert's Bears & Balls," he talks about someone on eBay buying a house for $1.75, a Mexican company selling low-cost housing made out of intermodal containers, and the rising price of salt. Stephen then interviews Kathleen Parker about Sarah Palin.
"New York Post, I call dibs on 'Eliot Mess.' This is The Colbert Report."

Actor
ice hockey player
College 1904; A.M. 1905; PhD 1908; Professor
Art historian and founder of academic journal October
Soviet spy on the Manhattan Project
College 1922

The show starts with the song "Limelight" by Rush being played instead of the normal theme tune. Stephen complains to Jimmy, who claims to be a big Rush fan. In "The Wørd," Stephen says that we need to think that the economy is getting better in order to make it better. In "Alpha Dog of the Week," he praises George W. Bush for his attitude to the environment at the G8 Summit. Stephen then interviews Rush, who then perform their classic, "Tom Sawyer." The word next to Stephen in the opening credits reads, "ROCK ON!"
"I don't want to let the cat out of the bag. That cat knows what it did and it needs to be punished. This is The Colbert Report."
"Hey, autumnal equinox! If the nights are getting longer, why is my show still only a half-hour? This is The Colbert Report."

ROU

College 1727
College 1989, magna cum laude in East Asian Studies
president of Harvard Arab Alumni, Senior Health specialist, World Bank

Mario van der Ende

College 1997
Chairman of Tata Group

Hundreds of Yemeni civilian deaths from airstrikes

Law 1904
U.S. Marine Corps officer killed in the Korean War, Medal of Honor recipient
Film director, screenwriter

List of old cities

Tomasson

Stephen begins by repeating his request to speak at the Democratic National Convention, and talks about the extra-marital affair committed by John Edwards. He then talks about the 2008 Summer Olympics and talks to Olympic athlete Joey Cheek about his work in Darfur. Stephen then apologizes to Canton, South Dakota for insulting them, and then insults Canton, Texas. Finally, he interviews Jane Mayer about torture.

Right arm offspin

Professor at the Department of Psychology
Law 1851
Radcliffe 1963

MKD

"If you're filling out your tournament brackets, I always go with "C." This is The Colbert Report."

Hristakiev

College 1978; HKS 1983; Law 1983
Physician, diplomat, and atomic theorist

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me...unless you throw a dictionary at me. This is The Colbert Report."

Valdano

At the top of the show, the screen behind Stephen goes out suddenly, until Hillary Clinton comes out and helps fix it. Stephen then talks about the ABC News Democratic debate. Stephen interviews Patrick Murphy about his time serving in Iraq. Next, John Edwards delivers "Ed Wørds," explaining how white men are the key voters in the upcoming primaries, and how he still isn't sure who he will endorse for president. Finally, Barack Obama appears via satellite and declares political distractions on notice.

Lecturer on engraving

Henan Shedianlaojiu

Business 1975; Law 1975
NFL Cornerback

New Orleans, LA

College 1958, Graduate School of Design 1967

Side Two: Afterwards
—Van Morrison, .

College 1812, PhD. 1817
Behavioral psychologist, inventor
College 1972; PhD 1979
Soldier, World War I ace
PhD 1968

Bonev

Business 1982

Stephen begins by talking about Colin Powell endorsing Barack Obama for president. He then interviews Fareed Zakaria about the economic crisis. Stephen presents a new "lower cost" segment based on "Colbert Platinum", "Colbert Aluminum." He talks about Paris, rich people opening various bank accounts in order to protect themselves, and stealth wealth. Finally, Stephen talks to Wynton Marsalis about jazz and together they perform "The Star-Spangled Banner."

A.B. 1948; PhD 1959

The Gospel of John

Molecular biologist; Nobel Prize winner
GSAS 1895
Historian, author
Medical 1940

Rodríguez

"Mark my words...seriously, Mark, I need my words. Where's my script? This is The Colbert Report."

Green technology executive
Cellist
College 1909, M.D. 1913; Professor

Cougars

Chairman of Li & Fung group of companies

Stephen discusses Barack Obama's victory in the South Carolina Democratic primary and his endorsement by Ted Kennedy. He then compares Obama to John F. Kennedy. He then talks about the death of Gordon B. Hinckley and claims he was killed by his striking writers. Stephen then discusses Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's upcoming visit to Iraq. He then interviews Marjane Satrapi about her experiences growing up in Iran. Next, Stephen discusses an article in The Nation that claims the South Carolina Democratic primary results could have been different if he had been allowed on the ballot, and shows previously aired clips of his campaign stops in the state. Finally, Stephen interviews Rick Warren about God and the meaning of life.

Law 1949
College 1982
College 1863, Law 1865
Gold medalist in rowing at 2012 Summer Olympics
Business 1939
Law 1971
A.M. 1947; professor
Chancellor, The University of Michigan
Blogger, feminist
CEO of Amgen
Psychological anthropologist, elected into the American Academy of Arts and Sciences in 2003
A.M. , PhD , Travelling Fellow
President of Miami University Ohio; graduate of Yale University and Columbia University

Central District

College 1962; Law 1977

Neji Jouini

pioneer of aeromedical evacuation

Freaky Three-Way Calling

KSG 1966

Zarai Taraqiati Bank Limited Women

proximity sensor,

ReportReport

The show begins with Rush finally finishing yesterday's performance. Stephen talks about gas stations in New York City running out of 4's for the gas signs. In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," he tips his hat to Subway, then wags his finger at it. He then wags his finger at Australia and tips his hat to a man who put up a controversial billboard in St. Cloud, Florida. Next, Stephen presents more entries in "Stephen Colbert's Make McCain Exciting Challenge!" Finally, he interviews Elizabeth Edwards about universal health care.

College 1933

* Indianapolis Blues
* Chicago White Stockings
* Chicago Pirates

Doctor of Juridical Science, J.S.D. 1981.
Business historian
Fugitive financier

Beacon Street in Amesbury

None

The American

*Saudi-led coalition claimed to have achieved its military goals
*Saudi-led coalition captured back Aden, Lahj, Taiz, Ibb, Zinjibar and Yarim
*Saudi success to completely destroy the Houthi rebels in the south of Yemen
*Saudi success to restore the government of Abd Rabbuh Mansur Hadi
*Saudi-led coalition announced an end to the airstrike campaign and the beginning of an operation aimed at a political solution; however, air-strikes and naval blockade continue
*Saudi Arabia proposes a 5-day ceasefire, days after its southern regions were raided and attacked by the Houthi rebels

Cassano

Actress

Stephen begins by talking about the conviction of Salim Hamdan. In "Stephen Colbert's Sport Report," he then talks about the 2008 Summer Olympics and interviews Devin Gordon about them. In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," he wags his finger at his corner deli owner and Denzel Washington, and tips his hat to a man who called 911 after the sauce was left off his Subway sandwich. Finally, he interviews Thomas Frank about his view that conservatism is harming the government.
"For every action, I have a superior and opposite reaction. This is The Colbert Report."

text symbol

Composer, conductor
Law 1937
College 1970
HKS 1985
Sameh El-Saharty
Religious historian, author
Joshua Parker {1690-died after 1732}
PhD 1977
College 1886
PhD 1947

Green Wave

CEO of Oxford Industries

Clear Falls

Histon, Cambridgeshire, GB

Stephen again discusses the fallout from Proposition 8. In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," Stephen wags his finger at Pope Benedict XVI and Julian Norridge, and tips his hat to, and wags his finger at, Marvel Comics. He then discusses Rahm Emanuel being named President-elect Obama's Chief of Staff. Stephen then interviews Stephen Moore about economics. Finally, Stephen attempts to get President-elect Obama to come on his show by autographing a Spider-Man comic book, and gets cover artist Joe Quesada to sign it also.
"Hey Burger King, isn't it time you named an heir? This is The Colbert Report."
"Remember the old adage: starve a cold, feed a fever, behead a zombie. This is The Colbert Report."

London, GB

"A great man once said, 'This is The Colbert Report.' Wait, that was me. This is The Colbert Report!"

PhD. 1905
College 1958
HKS 1986; PhD 1990
First President of King Abdullah University of Science and Technology
Law 1916

iucn3.1

Benjamin Peirce
Distinguished Scientist and Chief Controller DRDO and CEO of BrahMos Aerospace
Advanced Management programme
Pollster
College 1923
Law 1972

East Division

"Hey, teleprompter! Stop telling me what to do. 'Pause, then yell.' This is The Colbert Report."

Psychologist

Furman vs. UCF – Game Summary

Stephen begins with a discussion on Mike Huckabee's running mate. Stephen claims that via obligation, he should be the running mate. He also displays his dislike of John McCain, due to other right-wing political pundits, such as Rush Limbaugh, disliking McCain. He then talks to superdelegate Eliot Spitzer about superdelegates. He then talks to Eleanor Holmes Norton, another superdelegate, about her support of Barack Obama. Finally, Stephen interviews Lisa Randall about other dimensions.
How Dare You?

Law 1833
East Asian scholar
PhD 1936
Dean of University of Toronto's Rotman School of Management
Chairman and CEO of Fannie Mae

Stephen starts by talking about "face violence." He then talks about the oil crisis. In "The Wørd," Stephen mistakenly thinks that George Carlin banned the "seven words you can never say on television." He then talks again about the Myrmekiaphila neilyoungi, the spider named after Neil Young. He reveals that Jason E. Bond, who named the spider, will also name a spider after Stephen, and talks to him over the phone. Finally, Stephen interviews Will Smith about his new film, Hancock.

College 1897
Law 1874

Massachusetts Route 150 Map.svg

College 2010

Menczel
Mészöly

"Hey, America! You scratch my back, I'll demand you scratch my back more. This is The Colbert Report."

Dropped out
College 1975
Advisor to four U.S. presidents
President of West Virginia University

Tyson Slocum, Rick Reilly

NRHP

Rucervus eldii eldii

Parker, John

Stephen starts by talking about the final presidential debate, praising John McCain, but attacking his references to Joe the Plumber. Stephen then talks about the third anniversary of The Colbert Report and that his portrait has now been accepted by Brent Glass as part of the National Museum of American History. He then interviews Robert Greenwald about his series of anti-McCain commercials on YouTube. Stephen then unveils a new portrait of himself, which features him holding his Emmy.

College 1999, Law 2002

Xiaomi Mi 4

ACLU director, humanist author
College 1904, Law 1907

Black and White

Edelman

College 1810
Medical 1978

"I Will Follow"

South

College 1941; A.M. 1943; PhD 1946
College 1920; A.M. 1946

Stephen starts by talking about Jorge Ramos and speaks to Esteban Colberto, who is a big fan of Ramos'. In "The Wørd," Stephen talks about supporters of Hillary Clinton wanting more power at the Democratic National Convention. In "Nailed 'Em," Stephen talks about a man who lost his job after failing a drug test, despite the fact that he took medical marijuana. Finally, he interviews Ramos about his work on Univision.

Evolutionary biologist

Atléticos de San Germán

Founder of angiogenesis

Boyd

College 1756

"If you're looking for an inexpensive way to heat your home, might I suggest a grease fire? This is The Colbert Report."

A.M. 1947; PhD 1953; Professor 1961–

Gallardo

Film director and screenwriter
College 1943
Wikipedia

Parc des Princes, Paris

College 1953

Cervinae

Anthropologist and evolutionary psychologist

Macky Sall
----
Abd Rabbuh Mansur Hadi

Historian of religions
Canadian media mogul
College 1808
PhD 1972

Stephen begins with an arts and crafts demonstration, saying that selling "googly-eyed clams" would be a great way to make money if you lost your job. He then briefly mentions President Bush's final State of the Union Address. Next, Stephen interviews Joe Quesada about the new Captain America. He then discusses his feud with Conan O'Brien. Jon Stewart makes an appearance to tell Stephen that while O'Brien "made" Mike Huckabee, Stewart "made" O'Brien, and therefore "made" Huckabee. Finally, Stephen interviews Alex Ross about classical music in the 20th century.

Organisation internationale de la Francophonie

U.S. Representative, Florida Secretary of State during the 2000 U.S. Presidential Election recount
Phd English
College 1979
College 1952; Business 1954
Law 1922

S. Todorov

Poet, cultural scholar

Stephen starts by talking about Barack Obama being the Democratic candidate for the election. He also talks about John McCain's speech about Obama. Stephen then talks about the Libertarian Party and talks to its presidential candidate Bob Barr. He then interviews Salman Rushdie about his new book The Enchantress of Florence. He ends with "The Lost O'Reilly Tapes," which shows more footage of Stephen's interview with Bill O'Reilly.

Actor, Academy Award winner

Timber Creek

Ninth President of the World Bank
College 2004

Earl Thomson (disambiguation)

Pancas

College 1968
The New Yorker magazine journalist, former dean of the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism
United States Secretary of War, son of Abraham Lincoln

footballer

Mid 20th Century

Professor 2002–present

Cameron Stewart

Radcliffe 1897
Jazz baritone saxophonist, composer, and bandleader
College 1865
Noam Elkies

Catharsis

College
Clifford A. Scott
Shakespearean scholar

Major League Baseball player

College 1881
HKS 1996

Bahrain

Radcliffe 1970

Marie Wood, Jeb Corliss, Andrew McLean

Gallon prepares to shoot a free throw in a game against the Texas Legends in 2015

HKS 1976

Devil's Gate-Weber Hydroelectric Power Plant Historic District

Writer of children's literature
College; MBA

UCF vs. Tulsa – Game Summary

Famous in the world of string theory; Columbia University professor
MD, MSc, MPH 1991

"Remember the '80s? Then you're not part of my demographic. This is The Colbert Report."

A.Mihaylov

Radcliffe 1957
College 1781
Economics 1991
Local Deputy in the Congress of Colima, member of PAN, and former President of Seguros ING, S.A. de C.V.
foreign editor of The New York Times since 2004
College 1902, Law 1906

Kostadinov

Law 1909
Forger; brother-in-law of Nicholas Fessenden, Class of 1701

"It's snowing on Mars so the following schools are closed: Microbe Academy, Bleep Blorp Elementary and St. Teresa's Blessed Crater. This is The Colbert Report."

"I'm eternally grateful for the Irish side of me. That's where I got my sense of comedy and whimsy. As for the English half–that's my reserved side ... But put me onstage, and the Irish comes out. The combination makes a good mix for acting."

Economist; Nobel Prize winner

Mad Men

"I know why [Murder, She Wrote was a success]. There was never any blood, never any violence. And there was always a satisfying conclusion to a whodunit. The jigsaw was complete. And I loved Jessica's everywoman character. I think that's what made her so acceptable to an across-the-board audience."

Silistra

Member of the Pahlavi Imperial Family of Iran ; Reza Shah Pahlavi's second son; brother of Mohammad Reza Pahlavi; the last Shah of Persia de facto
PhD. 1946
Secretary of the Department of the Interior and Local Government of the Philippines
Law 1911

Yılmaz

Sabah Al-Ahmad Al-Jaber Al-Sabah

Law 1977
Animal rights activist

Stephen discusses the settlement in a lawsuit filed against Airborne. He then introduces a new segment, "Democralypse Now: The Delightful Dismemberment Of The Democratic Hopescape," which focuses on Geraldine Ferraro's recent comments about Barack Obama, as well as baseless claims that Obama is a Muslim. He then interviews Hussein Ibish about those claims. In the "Difference Makers" segment, Stephen profiles Tennessee Senator Doug Jackson about his legislation that would allow guns in bars. Finally, Stephen interviews Sudhir Venkatesh about his sociological experiences with gangs.
"I don't pay attention to polls, I just count lawn signs, so get ready for President Re/Max. This is The Colbert Report."

ASA College

College 1909

"The days of atonement are upon us. I apologize for being perfect. This is The Colbert Report."
Stephen starts by talking about a Starbucks promotion. He then talks about the popularity of Barack Obama slightly falling and his plans to save on gas by inflating tires. Stephen then talks about how Republicans can win votes with wedge issues. He then issues another apology in relation to Canton, Kansas, by saying he was in another mix-up, this time with Canton, South Dakota. Finally, Stephen interviews David Carr about his drug addiction and his work with The New York Times.

Sportscar racing driver
International Corporate Communication Director
Law 1952

Ned Williamson

Mohammad Mehdi Akhondzadeh

Union Army officer, Medal of Honor recipient
Novelist, winner of the 2004 National Book Award.
Geneticist

CRO

Bleep

Education

"Lord I Just Can't Keep From Crying" / "Keep Your Lamp Trimmed and Burning"

HKS 1967

Devin Gordon, Thomas Frank

College 1800

Luis Enrique

Boston Globe architecture critic
College 1747

sachin ulmale

IF Lödde

College 1948
Television host

Professional Football Club Lokomotiv 1926 Plovdiv

Columbia (14490-D)

HKS 2000
College 1976; Law 1979

Map showing the member states of la Francophonie

Stephen talks about the anniversary of him breaking his wrist and points out cuts and bruises on his face, starting a campaign against "face violence". He then talks about South Africa ruling that Chinese South Africans are black. In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," Stephen wags his finger at Barack Obama, then tips his hat to him. He wags his finger at California, tips his hat to condoms and the South Pole and wags his finger at high fuel prices. Finally, Stephen interviews Barbara Ehrenreich about the differences between the rich and poor.
Stephen mentions John Edwards dropping out of the presidential election. He then discusses Hillary Clinton getting the most votes in the Florida Democratic primary, and John McCain winning the Florida Republican primary. He also talks about Rudy Giuliani dropping out of the presidential election. Stephen then interviews Carl Hiaasen about politics in Florida. In the "Better Know A District" segment, he profiles South Carolina's 4th congressional district. Finally, Stephen interviews Frans de Waal about the relationship between humans and apes.

College 1751

*All Music Guide link

Richardson, Abram Harding

A.B. 1963, PhD 1968; professor 1970–78, 1998–
Ambassador, diplomat
Historian, advisor to John F. Kennedy

ENG

Quintin Hampton

Economist, presidential advisor, founder of the Center for Research and Communication, led a committee that drafted the 1987 Philippine Constitution

Pakistan Cricket Board Women Greens

College 1956; Honorary degree 2008

Edison Perez Nunez

College 1938
Talk show host

Actress, singer, songwriter, producer, writer

CEO and Chairman of Goldman Sachs
Law 1844
Physical chemist at The University of Chicago
College 1798; Professor
Cardinal Archbishop of Boston
College 1964
Murderer , died in exile in France, 1729
Novelist, comics writer
College 1952; Law 1957

American basketball player

College 1918
Hon. Howard E. Haugerud

"You know what they say, 'When in Rome, get on a plane back to America.' This is The Colbert Report."

Professor

Stephen briefly talks about the meeting of President Bush and President-elect Obama. He then discusses the fallout over the Proposition 8 outcome and interviews Dan Savage about it. He then shows the second part of "Stephen Colbert's Fallback Position," in which he learns how to be a spy. Finally, Stephen interviews Kevin Johnson about politics and his plans for Sacramento, California.

Founder, SDA Bocconi
Covered the civil rights era as Newsweeks first bureau chief assigned to cover the Southern United States; editor in chief of The Saturday Evening Post

Stephen discusses Barack Obama's foreign trip in "Barack Obama's Elitist Summer Abroad." He then talks about John McCain's travel plans in "John McCain's Fiscally Responsible Staycation." In "Better Know a Lobby," Stephen profiles the environmental lobby. Finally, Stephen interviews Jim Webb about politics and his book, A Time to Fight. The word next to Stephen in the opening credits changes to "MULTI-GRAIN."

M.A. 1969; PhD 1975
Professor of Law

Sowerby 1826

MAR

Israeli footballer

Actor, screenwriter, producer, Academy Award winner

Harmony, PA

Zhechev
Suárez

PhD 1962
Sportswriter for ESPN and Sports Illustrated
Physician, Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner
Philosophy
College 1985
College 1892
Susumu Kuno
College 1870, Law 1874

FFFFF

Sri Lankan Minister of National Security, Minister of Education

Kiko

A.M.; PhD 1964

"Let Your Light Shine on Me" / "God Don't Never Change"

Business
Member of the Royal and Ducal House of Bourbon-Parma and Dutch Royal Family; fourth and youngest child of Princess Irene of the Netherlands and Carlos Hugo, Duke of Parma

(DBE)

Embezzler, bigamist

ILB

Lead singer and guitarist for The Commuters
PhD 1983

Richardson

UCF vs. South Carolina – Game Summary

Naval Supply 1944

August 2012

Revenge

Runner, former world recorder holder in hurdles
Law 1987
Lawyer, businessman; namesake of towns in Pennsylvania, Minnesota, and North Dakota; served on Harvard's board of overseers
U.S. Army officer in World War I with the "Lost Battalion", Medal of Honor recipient
Philosopher and historian of science

First Leg

August 1980

Executive Director of SafeMinds
U.S. Marine Corps general, Medal of Honor recipient
College 2008

– Angela Lansbury.

Political scientist, Provost of Johns Hopkins University
College 1966, PhD 1976

Stephen begins by paying tribute to Tim Russert. He then talks about a new "Global Edition" of his show, which leads to a discussion on the 2008 Summer Olympics. In a new segment, "The Enemy Within," Stephen profiles a substitute teacher from Land O' Lakes, Florida who was fired for allegedly practicing wizardry. He then interviews Kenneth R. Miller about intelligent design. Finally, Stephen plays another song from R.E.M.'s appearance in April, "Hollow Man."

Member of musical group Re:

Administered under the Antarctic Treaty System

PhD
HKS 1971

_redtop

Involved in the creation of the comic book character Wonder Woman
Former United States Ambassador to Namibia
College 2001, HBS-HKS 2011

Müller

Sister of King of Bhutan

Things to Make and Do

Pelé

United States Ski Team skier
Democratic member of the Massachusetts House of Representatives
Inspiration for Bull Durham

Bright House Networks Stadium

Muzaffer Sarvan

* Yemen Army

M.B.A. 1947

"If I had a quarter for every time I said I had a nickel, I'd have five times as much theoretical money. This is The Colbert Report."

Professor of biochemistry at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine
College 1907; Medical 1912
Extension 1985

Pavoni

College 1870
U.S. Congressman, Club for Growth president
Bank fraud
College 1996; Business 2000; Law 2000

Rucervus

Stephen discusses the International Space Station's broken toilet. In the "Democralypse Now" segment, he talks about the Democratic National Committee's upcoming resolution of Florida and Michigan's nullified primaries. He then interviews Tad Devine on the subject. In "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," Stephen wags his finger at Scott McClellan, tips his hat to Michelle Malkin and wags his finger at blind people. Finally, Stephen interviews David Sirota about his book, The Uprising.

Historian, professor

Lansbury in 1950

Computational scientist and research executive
Law 1986

at March 2013, was a comingled style; she has been U.S. bulk of life

Writer, economist
College 1763

Monte Taylor

Bachelor of Arts 1961

Stephen begins by pretending to broadcast live from the Democratic National Convention, and talks about Michelle Obama's speech. He then talks about the 88th anniversary of the Nineteenth Amendment and Hillary Clinton's speech, and complains about anniversaries they are neglecting, including the birthday of Will Shortz, who makes a guest appearance. Stephen then talks about the Democrats making their convention environmentally friendly. He then interviews Bob Barr about his run for President for the Libertarian Party. He then interviews Scott McClellan about his book What Happened. Finally, Stephen tries to call the White House and talk to President Bush, but fails.
"Hey blood bank, that cookie sucked. I want my blood back. This is The Colbert Report."

Director of the Advanced Placement program
NHL player, Florida Panthers
College 1870, Law 1872
Dental 1987

us-ut

Report

Faculty
Economist, Director of the National Economic Council
Law 1893
Member of 9/11 Commission
Actor, U.S. Congressman
HKS 1969
President of Liberia; Nobel Peace Prize winner

Marcus Foster

Gaspar

*Hawthorn Premiership Player 2008
*Port Adelaide Premiership Player 2004
* leading goalkicker 2002
*1998 AFL Rising Star nominee

Feigenbaum

Knights

College 2012
College 1787

Fallaj Al Shanar

Social Relations 1970
New Orleans lawyer and former member of the Louisiana House of Representatives for Lafource Parish, Louisiana
Singer of band Weezer
College 1891

Snellville, GA

"Our writers are back and they are sexy. Who wrote this?"

Nevelle Clarke

College 1776

Kidner, Derek

PhD 1949

I.Zafirov "Kopata"

Maine Red Claws

Radcliffe 1951
Editor of The Weekly Standard
Governor of Connecticut; son of John Trumbull class of 1727; served as US Speaker of the House and US Senator

Guentchev

Tyler Hudanick

Israel national football team captain

College 1998
Medical 1989

Stephen starts by talking about the West Virginia primary. He then talks about a leaked clip of Bill O'Reilly on Inside Edition, in which he loses his temper. Stephen claims that O'Reilly did nothing wrong and tries to prove it using an "early" clip of himself in which he loses his temper. In "Better Know a Lobby," he talks to Paul Helmke of the Brady Campaign, a gun control lobby. Finally, Stephen interviews Jennifer Hooper McCarty about the sinking of the Titanic.
Jail Sweet Jail

Executive Program 2004
Film director
U.S. National Guard general
College 1798
Comedy writer, Tony winner for Hairspray, author, op-ed columnist
Criminal Justice Department Chair at Iona College, New York State Assemblyman

Angela Brigid Lansbury

Allbäck

Professor 2005–present
Public radio host of Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!, playwright, screenwriter, actor

Stephen discusses the results of the Michigan Democratic primary and the Michigan Republican primary. He also talks about the Democratic presidential debate in Nevada. Stephen then interviews oddsmaker Benjamin Eckstein about each candidate's chances of winning the Nevada Democratic caucus. He spins a roulette wheel to decide who will win, and Barack Obama is declared the winner. Next, Stephen chastises Conan O'Brien's claim that O'Brien made Mike Huckabee the winner of the Iowa Republican caucus. Finally, Stephen interviews Deborah Tannen about the language of women, as well as Hillary Clinton's potential struggles as a female presidential candidate.

Harvard Teacher
Former Co-President of Morgan Stanley
College 1932, Business

Bernstein

Eleventh President of the World Bank
Philosopher
College 1925; Law 1929

Mills House

AT & Treason

football

Carlos Salinas de Gortari

Ivaylo Ivanov

U.S. Army Air Forces general in World War II, Medal of Honor recipient

Daniel Heiner House

Director of Metropolitan Museum of Art
Medical writer
Lawrence Scientific School 1857

Coral Springs, FL

"They weren't booing at Sarah Palin at that hockey game. The crowd was just getting into the Halloween spirit. BOOOOOOO! This is The Colbert Report."

Geneticist; injured by Ted Kaczynski a.k.a. Unabomber
College 1963

o/o'bribi01

Son of Aga Khan III, the 48th Imam of Nizari Ismailism; Prince Sadruddin served as United Nations High Commissioner for Refugees from 1966 to 1978.

"Tonight's Colbert penny pincher: if you're out of milk, add water to yogurt. This is The Colbert Report."
Stephen begins by honoring American Craft Beer Week. He then discusses John Edwards' endorsement of Barack Obama. He then talks about President Bush's speech in Israel. Next, he discusses some U.S. states considering letting prisoners out early to save money. In "Stephen Colbert's Bears & Balls," he discusses high food prices, dollar stores and high gas prices. Finally, Stephen interviews Andrei Cherny about the Berlin Airlift.

Panthers

PhD 1984
M.T.S. 2005; PhD 2011
Former senior editor of Newsweek

* Operation Restoring Hope

Markus Holgersson

Author, social entrepreneur, co-founder of Net Impact
Government

I.Georgiev

Law 1965

Print

Abergele, Conwy, Wales

Ibrahimović

Author and self-help guru
College 1839
Medieval scholar
Clergyman

Eusébio

PhD 1878
General partner of Brown Brothers Harriman & Co.; Director of the Union Pacific Railroad 1957-1986
President of Willamette University
Coined term Orientalism; Palestinian activist; professor

"Hey kids, if you need a last minute costume idea, you can always go door-to-door as a McCain campaigner. This is The Colbert Report."

College 1969; A.M. 1971

Stephen begins by discussing John McCain's guarantee of victory in the presidential election. He then talks about some prominent conservatives distancing themselves from McCain's campaign. In the "Alpha Dog of the Week" segment, Stephen profiles a man who named his daughter Sarah McCain Palin Ciptak. Next, he interviews Yo-Yo Ma about his new album, Songs of Joy and Peace. Finally, Yo-Yo Ma performs his new song, "Panxolina."

Founder of O'Reilly Media
William Berenberg
HKS 1973; Law 1982

Hallandale

Attorney; law partner of Louis Brandeis

July 1977

_blacktop

Law 1982
Son-in-law of former King Michael I of Romania; in 1996 he married Princess Margarita of Romania, the king's eldest daughter and the Crown Princess of Romania, also known as the "Custodian of the Romanian Crown"

multi-touch display,

Journalist, philosopher, writer
Class of 1710 {did not graduate}
Washington Post publisher and CEO
PhD 1967
College 2007

Kidner

College 1964; Medical School 1968
College 1973, PhD 1976
Advisor to U.S. President George W. Bush
PhD 1989
Harvard Business School
Researcher who discovered how bats use echolocation
Writer, psychologist, LSD guru

A Day Without Me

Member of the Pahlavi Imperial Family of Iran ; younger son of the former Shah of Iran, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, and his third wife Empress Farah Pahlavi; second in order of succession to the Iranian throne before the Iranian Revolution
College 2006

"Nation, I will always make eye contact with you. This is The Colbert Report."

U.S. Army general, military surgeon, commander of the Rough Riders, 5th Chief of Staff of the United States Army, Military Governor of Cuba and Governor General of the Philippines, Medal of Honor recipient

Houses in Sierra County, New Mexico

HKS 1984

South Florida vs. UCF – Game Summary

Radcliffe College 1960
PhD 1932; professor
Legal scholar at Berkeley Law who opposed the Newspaper Preservation Act of 1970
Law 1928
United States Secretary of Defense, United States Secretary of Energy
Business 1985

Mike Riley

Lake Wales

President of Bates College
Law 1999; Professor
College 1941
Business 1963

Continuation into New Hampshire.

"I'm about to take two weeks off. You know what that means? Fresh injuries. This is The Colbert Report."

r/ryanji01

Retrospective reviews

College 1816

Change

Conductor, musicologist

"The bad news: the Dow dropped 500 points today. The good news: I didn't know there were 500 left. This is The Colbert Report."
The Colbert Report

PhD 1979; professor
Ma Ying-Jeou

Golden Hurricane
UCF vs. Tulane – Game Summary

"It sounded like the man who made Astral Weeks was in terrible pain, pain most of Van Morrison's previous works had only suggested; but like the later albums by The Velvet Underground, there was a redemptive element in the blackness, ultimate compassion for the suffering of others, and a swath of pure beauty and mystical awe that cut right through the heart of the work."

Abel Aguilar Elizalde

College 1857
College 1990; Law 1993

digital compass,

PhD 1960; Professor

Muzizi Power Station

Nazarov

Comedian, film actor
Theater director

Stephen discusses his appearance in an answer on Jeopardy! and Alex Trebek's mispronunciation of "Report." The ThreatDown: 5. Russia! 4. Corrections! 3. Inflatable Turds! 2. Limousine Shortages! 1. iPhones! He then shows a "filmstrip" about the 1952 Summer Olympics and Finland. Finally, Stephen interviews Bing West about the Iraq War.

College 1819; professor
Returning Officer, Singaporean general election, 2011, former Brigadier General in the Republic of Singapore Air Force
Law 1948
College 1812
Jared Sparks
College 1828
Law 1960

Seyoum Tarekegn

College 1905
College 1908; Medical 1912
Expert in Arab politics; former director of the Center for Middle Eastern Studies

Stephen begins by showing viewer submissions for "Stephen Colbert's Make McCain Exciting Challenge!" He then discusses other nations' impressive skylines and interviews Paul Goldberger about architecture. In the "Judge, Jury & Executioner: Tenth Justice Edition" segment, he discusses the Supreme Court's rulings related to the Exxon Valdez oil spill, the Second Amendment and an upcoming ruling on the Navy's use of sonar. Finally, Stephen interviews Neil DeGrasse Tyson about his show, NOVA scienceNOW.

Law 1979; HKS 1981

Krivets

former chairman of the Republican National Committee

Hutchinson
Lucílio Batista

Social and political theorist
A.M. 1898; PhD 1909
Voluntary manslaughter; lied on application about killing mother; early admission offered, then rescinded

*Chicago White Stockings
*Chicago Pirates
*Chicago Colts/Orphans
*Washington Senators

Design 1966; HKS 1973
Business 1981

Grønkjær

"Those Republican speakers dished up a lot of red meat last night. They should have their colons checked. This is The Colbert Report."

HKS 2004
Lester Allyson Knibbs, a.k.a. Abdulhakim Muhammad

Exit 54

Krol

Former executive editor of The New York Times
College 1983
Doctorate
Nobel Prize in Economics winner
College 1957
Law 1918
Law 1932

ryan--003jam

Dean of the McDonough School of Business at Georgetown University

Utica, New York

Physicist; Nobel Prize winner

collapsed

M.P.A.
U.S. Navy admiral, Medal of Honor recipient

R. Baggio

"Hey Stephen, don't forget to stop thinking out loud. This is The Colbert Report."
Stephen discusses controversial comments made by John Hagee and Rod Parsley, pastors who endorsed John McCain. He talks about California's recent decision to allow gay marriage and interviews Tony Perkins on the subject. In the "Trailers That Are Destroying America" segment, Stephen complains about The Incredible Hulk and Hancock, but praises Valkyrie. Finally, Stephen interviews Brian Greene about the World Science Festival.
Stephen discusses the writers strike and Bill O'Reilly's comments about Stephen's performance without writers. In "Around The World In 11.6 Seconds," he briefly mentions Italy, Ecuador, the West Bank, Germany and Kenya. In Indecison 2008: Don't F%#k This Up America, Stephen talks about the recent Republican presidential debate in South Carolina, focusing mostly on Fred Thompson. This leads to the "Sam Waterston Says Things You Should Never Believe In A Trustworthy Manner" segment. Next, Part 2 of "National Treasure: Portrait of Stephen." Finally, Stephen interviews Neil Shubin about evolution.

College 1941; A.M. 1947
Law 1864
NFL coach, Kansas City Chiefs, Buffalo Bills
College 2001
MPH 1958
John Donald Cody
Law 2001
College 1973
Gold and silver medalist in golf at 1904 Summer Olympics

Valued Voter
Stephen begins by talking about the vice presidential debate, even though he hadn't seen it. In case Sarah Palin made a mistake during the debate, he decided to take the heat off her by shooting a member of his audience. Stephen then talks about the personal stories of John McCain and Barack Obama, claiming their stories have Shakespearean qualities, and interviews Shakespearean scholar Stephen Greenblatt. In "Formidable Opponent," Stephen debates himself about the economic crisis. Finally, he interviews Naomi Klein about politics.
Powerless

Medical 1975

Libuda

College 1929

Juhász

President of the MPAA

Berny Ulloa Morera

The Rolling Stone Album Guide

Clergyman, founder of the Albanian Orthodox Church

non_vocal_instrumentalist

Writer, professor

Dew, Stuart

College 1952; PhD 1963
Advanced Management Program, Date missing

Uma Mysorekar, Junot Díaz

Law 1957
U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission chairman, U.S. Congressman

Jacksonville, FL

Stephen talks about the economic crisis and John McCain's reaction. In response to McCain refusing to come on his show, Stephen starts rumors about him. In "The Wørd," he claims that President Bush has failed to capture Osama bin Laden because he doesn't have superpowers. Stephen then profiles a man who went to the bathroom during "God Bless America." He then interviews Robert Lutz about a new GM electric car, the Chevrolet Volt. Finally, he announces that his song, "Charlene ," is on Rock Band 2.
"Have I told you lately that I love me? This is The Colbert Report."

List of ancient cities

UEFA

Composer

U.S. Airweighs

Software developer; early and still famous blogger
College 1896

Stephen begins by pretending he is in the Atlanta airport. He then talks about the Republican National Convention. Stephen then interviews Adam Brickley about his role in getting Sarah Palin chosen as the Republican candidate for Vice President. In a special "RNC Edition" of "Tip of the Hat, Wag of the Finger," he tips his hat to Fred Thompson and Cindy McCain and wags his finger to some sign makers who made a sign stating "Raisin McCain" rather than "Raising McCain." Stephen then interviews Ron Paul about politics.
Stephen begins by discussing the problems of the Big Three automakers and how the free market isn't to blame. He then talks about President-elect Obama's reported nomination of Eric Holder to United States Attorney General and airs the second part of his interview with Cliff Sloan. Finally, Stephen interviews Michael Lewis about the economic crisis.

* Houthi fighters
* Yemen Army

College 1993

"Hey, TiVo owners! Look for a secret message when you watch the commercials in their entirety. This is The Colbert Report."
Collateral Friendage

OAKHAM

Australian rules footballer

President of the Supreme Court of Israel
A.M. 1986; PhD 1987; professor

Sample from the live 2008 titled song, "Astral Weeks " shows "a deeper, louder roar than the blue-eyed soul voice of his youth – softer on the diction – but none the less impressively powerful".

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce us 'host' and 'audience.' You may kiss the screen. This is The Colbert Report."

College 1783
Author, journalist
Henry Phillips
Dr John White Webster
College 1861; Law 1866
Banker; philanthropist; Chairman of Chase Manhattan Bank
Founded the Workplace Project; associate professor at Fordham University School of Law
Law scholar, pro-Israel activist
Daniel Goldhagen
Master of Public Health – 1965
MPA 2011
Tanya Luhrmann

"What is the sound of one me talking? This is The Colbert Report."

Activist
College, Graduate School
Law 1939

"I swum against the Tide with Bleach Alternative. This is The Colbert Report."
Allan Sloan, Eric Weiner

; text-align:center;

Law 1923
PhD 1951

Villages in Germany

College 1931
Jazz saxophonist, composer, bandleader
Murderer

Titus Davis

Sample from the live 2008 titled song, "Astral Weeks (I Believe I've Transcended)" shows "a deeper, louder roar than the blue-eyed soul voice of his youth – softer on the diction – but none the less impressively powerful".

College 1962; Law 1965
A.M. 1936; PhD 1941
Judge of the United States Court of Appeals for the First Circuit and Judge of the United States District Court for the District of Rhode Island

Rep

Secretary of State of Texas, 1979–1981; Republican state chairman, 1983–1988; Houston businessman and philanthropist
College 1934; Law 1937

Aleksandar Stavrev

Class of 1817
Film director, producer, Academy Award winner

Hristov

Law 1919

UCF 2015 Football Commitments

"If your actions speak louder than words, you're not yelling loud enough. This is The Colbert Report."

accelerometer,

Sicklerville, NJ

Computer programmer and essayist
Governor of Massachusetts, 1988 Democratic U.S. presidential nominee
Canadian-American Keynesian economist
President, of The University of Monterrey
Poet, U.S. Poet Laureate

Stephen discusses the controversial cartoon of Barack Obama on the cover of The New Yorker. He talks about Miss Venezuela winning the Miss Universe pageant, which leads to a discussion on Hugo Chávez. He then interviews Julia Sweig about the oil situations in Venezuela and Brazil. In the "Difference Makers" segment, Stephen profiles Donald Trump for erecting a 70-foot flagpole in Rancho Palos Verdes, California. Finally, Stephen interviews Jason Riley about immigration.

AP Poll released prior to game

Law 1875

Servín

Master of Laws 1987
PhD 1973

Original: MIUI 5

Rush, everybody! Alex, Neil, Geddy, thanks so much. Uhh... This is The Colbert Report."

Conductor, Kansas City Symphony
Son of President Theodore Roosevelt, U.S. Army general, Medal of Honor recipient, businessman, Governor of Puerto Rico, Governor-General of the Philippines

"This message will self-destruct, but only if you have one of those new exploding TV's. This is The Colbert Report."

College 1811

North

Satirist, mathematician, singer
College 1954; Law 1957

Clarksboro, New Jersey

אריק בנאדו

Size Matters

Astrophysics; Nobel Prize in Physics winner
College 1941, Law 1947

Taped in Philadelphia, the program is introduced by a Benjamin Franklin impersonator. Stephen talks about his new set, which includes a giant map of Pennsylvania. Stephen then talks about the Pennsylvania Democratic primary and what has led up to it. He then interviews Michael Nutter, the mayor of Philadelphia, about violence in the city and his policy on guns. Finally, Stephen interviews Chris Matthews about the upcoming primary. The word that appears next to Stephen in the opening credits changes to SELF-EVIDENT.

M.B.A.

Vesicovaginal fistula

Law 1912

Abergele, Wales

HKS 1990

Deliberately alluding to France's motto.

KOR

College 1942

"I always say, 'If you can't beat 'em, report 'em to Homeland Security.' They'll beat 'em for you. This is The Colbert Report."

PhD 1930
College 1835
Scientist; Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine winner

Lokomotiv Plovdiv

Stephen begins by paying tribute to Brett Favre. He then becomes angry about Mike Huckabee losing the Republican primaries to John McCain. He then interviews Robert Reich about the Democrats. In "Difference Makers," Stephen interviews Jason Grunstra, a man who created a website which gives away free breast implants. He then interviews Gregory Rodriguez about race relations and Mexican immigration. Finally, he pays tribute to Gary Gygax.

Raja Nazrin Shah of Perak
Law 1869

Adreno 330

SWI

College 1971; Law 1976

Minister

Lead guitarist of the Grammy Award-winning band Rage Against the Machine; ex-lead guitarist of the now defunct band Audioslave; political activist
Economist at the National Bureau of Economic Research, first woman to receive the IZA Prize in Labor Economics
Writer for Saturday Night Live, The Office, and Parks and Recreation

Bernal

Unhealthy Competition

A.M. 1933; PhD 1935
Physician, soldier, activist
College 1974
College 2005
Actor, Breaking Bad, Under the Dome
National Scientist of the Philippines; pediatrician; recipient of Ramon Magsaysay Award; devised an incubator made out of bamboo, designed for use in rural communities without electrical power; the first woman admitted as a student at Harvard Medical School
Law 1958

Sifang, Huangdao, Linyi

College 1978

"I am calling for an auto bailout...because I drove my car into a lake. This is The Colbert Report."

Art historian

Essex

Law 1850

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach; just make sure to stab with an upward motion. This is The Colbert Report."
"You know what they say, 'If it ain't broke, let me at it.' This is The Colbert Report."

Kolev

Amesbury

EU Ambassador to Pakistan

Electronic

CS professor at MIT, creator of the first computer worm

Future For Lokomotiv Association SA

Fellow at HLS's Berkman Center for Internet and Society 2004

Stephen talks about auditions for The Rockettes, claiming that those who fail can join his "Shockettes," who also act as his bodyguards. He then talks about Nelson Mandela being on the terrorist watch list

College 1759; A.M. 1762
Law 1845
College 1846
Business 1952

* St. Paul Saints
* Kansas City Cowboys
* Washington Nationals
* Brooklyn Gladiators

Stephen discusses the presidential election and presents "Un-American News: Obama Edition," focusing on the world's reaction to Barack Obama's election. In "Stephen Colbert's Fallback Position," he interviews Peter Earnest about being a spy. Stephen then interviews Rachel Maddow about her show, politics and Keith Olbermann. Finally, he wishes a happy birthday to his mother and leads the audience in a Latin rendition of "Happy Birthday to You."

Minister, author
College 1915; A.M. 1916

28th (Leek) Staffordshire Rifle Volunteer Corps

Amuneke

HKS 1995
College 1950; A.M. 1952; PhD 1956
former President of the American Broadcasting Company 1986–1994, engineered the $3.5 billion acquisition of ABC by Capital Cities in 1986
Chairman of Siva Group

Stephen talks about the Phoenix landing on Mars and possibly discovering microbes. This leads to a new segment, "Microbe Beat!" He then discusses Major League Baseball threatening to sue Chicago Little League teams for using MLB team names without paying a licensing fee. In "Cheating Death with Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.," he talks about hydration, pet health and plastic surgery. Finally, Stephen interviews Claire McCaskill about politics and her endorsement of Barack Obama.
Maverick Without A Cause

Radcliffe 1898

Selby

East Carolina vs. UCF – Game Summary

Law 1938

Tehran

Harry Austryn Wolfson

"If you ever forget to watch my show, just try this handy mnemonic. Watch. My. Show. This is The Colbert Report."
"I'm no fan of March Madness, but it sure beats February syphilis. This is The Colbert Report.

Jazz pianist
Radcliffe 1947
Convicted of insider trading

Paladins

Chairman of the Joseph Schlitz Brewing Company

Stephen discusses Ted Stevens being found guilty of seven felonies. He then talks about Republicans claiming that Barack Obama is a socialist and interviews the Socialist Party USA candidate for president, Brian Moore. Next, Stephen retracts his claim that Canton, Texas is a terrible place and says Canton, Ohio is much worse. Finally, he interviews Sherman Alexie about Native Americans.

"Bye and Bye I'm Goin' to See the King" / "You'll Need Somebody on Your Bond"

Host of NPR's All Things Considered

Yanev

Greenville, TX

Second Sight Medical Products

HBS 1976
College 1817
Former New York State Assemblyman

I-84 east of its junction with US-89, in Weber Canyon

President of Univision
College 1994
College 1979; PhD 1985

Owls

Stephen begins with "Who's Riding My Coattails Now?" and chastises Fred Claus and bigthink.com. He then interviews Peter Hopkins, co-founder of that website. After Part 3 of "National Treasure: Portrait of Stephen," he announces that his portrait will be on display at the National Portrait Gallery by the 2nd floor bathrooms for the next six weeks. Finally, Stephen interviews Jared Cohen about his experiences in the Middle East.

Total

Dermendzhiev

If At First You Don't Secede

Brother Martin

Physicist, "father of the atomic bomb"
Professor of plant biology at the University of California, Berkeley

Circle: International Survey of Constructivist Art

Governor of Massachusetts, U.S. presidential candidate

The episode begins with the Philadelphia Eagles cheerleaders spelling "Truth" and performing to the show's theme tune. Stephen talks about Pope Benedict XVI's visit to America. In "Democralypse Now," he talks about Bruce Springsteen endorsing Barack Obama. Stephen then shows more footage of his tour of Philadelphia, visiting the National Constitution Center. Finally, he interviews Ed Rendell about Pennsylvania.

Toru Kamikawa

Left

American Athletic Conference

CEO of Times Mirror Magazines and CEO of Newspaper National Network LP

dalrym001abn

Grad. Student, Researcher ,

"In case of fire, remain in your seats until I am out of the building. This is The Colbert Report."
Pity Party

Editor, Marvel Comics executive
College 1984
HKS 1957
College 1890; A.M. 1891; PhD 1895
former CEO American Express

"It's not a recession, it's a correction. Correction, it's a recession. This is The Colbert Report."

Comedian, actor, The Office
College 1880
HKS 1999

Stephen begins by speaking with astronaut Garrett Reisman, who is aboard the International Space Station, about his wearing of a Wriststrong bracelet in space. He then talks about high gas prices and how each dollar of gas purchased is then spent. Next, Stephen interviews Arianna Huffington about politics. Finally, Stephen discusses the passing of Albert Hofmann.

Business 1980
Union Army general, Medal of Honor recipient, Massachusetts state legislator, mountaineer
Emmy-nominated television director

Texas Lone Star Strikers

Design 1978

Cardinal

Law 1917
College 1968, PhD

Abdullah II

Extension 1968
Experimental filmmaker
Law 1840

Cubillas

Medical 1867
College 1775

ITA

UCF Knights

College 1865, Law 1872
PhD 1966

*Third-team Parade All-American
*McDonald's All-American

College 1947; Law 1950

Valentin Ivanov

Morgan High School Mechanical Arts Building

HKS, Law 1987
Master of Public Health 1952
College 1928; PhD 1941
President of the Eastern Nazarene College 1981–1989
College 1939
Leaker of the Pentagon Papers
College 1841
United States Secretary of Defense, United States Attorney General
A.M.; PhD
Political consultant, author, journalist, publisher of The Southern Political Report
Dental 1967; Medical 1973
Actress, singer
Christopher Janus

Beacon Street

WTA CEO, Pac-10 commissioner
Poet and author
Chemist; Nobel Prize in Chemistry winner
Law 1871
Law 1964
United States Secretary of Education, activist

_rus12a

*NL home run leader

Diplomat, counterterrorism expert
Poet, abolitionist
Kenyan economist, father of U.S. President Barack Obama
M.A.
College 1917

_greenborder

College 1917; A.M. 1921; PhD 1923
HKS, Law 1992

Dallas, Texas

College 1953; professor

Sample from the title song featuring the opening lines of the album: "If I ventured in the slipstream between the viaducts of your dream".

Australian Minister for Foreign Affairs

Stephen is angry that some astronomers claim Jesus was born in June and complains about atheists. He is then visited by the ghost of his former stage manager, Bobby, which Stephen says proves the existence of God. He then interviews Michael Phelps about his career and new book, No Limits: The Will to Succeed. Finally, Stephen eats the ghost of Bobby.

College 1885

"Tony Awards, it's not too late to revise your list of nominees. Pow! This is The Colbert Report."

Class of 1724

"I'm like my own All-Star Game, in that tonight, I'm also not trying very hard. This is The Colbert Report."

Medical 1922
Law 1830
A.M., economics, 1965.

Éder

Liberal Party of Canada leader of Her Majesty's loyal opposition; Member of Parliament; scholar; professor; author
Dean of Students,
College 1999
Poet
Dean, Harvard School of Dental Medicine
Graduate 1969

Helsingborg, Sweden

NHL player, Pittsburgh Penguins
Professor, Harvard School of Public Health
Chemist, winner of the Wolf Prize in Chemistry in 1995/96

Along Jeremy Ranch Rd. at the mouth of Little Emigration Canyon

"Duck, duck, duck, truth. This is The Colbert Report."

*Milwaukee Grays
*Chicago White Stockings
*Pittsburgh Alleghenys
*Milwaukee Brewers

Seneca Valley Senior

"I know the knife is supposed to go next to the spoon, but where does the gun go? This is The Colbert Report."

First United States Ambassador to Canada
Professor of instructional design systems and creator of Elaboration Theory
College 1924

Country

Alboraya

Financier
Business 1978
Head of fixed-income trading, Pine River Capital Management
College 1989

Sri Lanka women

Association footballer

College 1934
College 1968; Law 1974
PhD 1935
Musician, frontman of Pink Martini
Diplomat; Nobel Peace Prize winner
Rock multi-instrumentalis, engineer-producer, author, promoter, raconteur
PhD 1996
College 1864

Cricketer

Swedish footballer

College 1973; PhD 1979
President of Bowdoin College

Getov

Stephen starts by talking about Hillary Clinton dropping out of the presidential race. In "The Wørd," he talks about how the next President will not be from the South, and the controversy of a large Confederate flag being flown in Tampa Bay. In the "ThreatDown:" 5. Albatrosses! 4. Naked People! 3. T-Shirts! 2. High Class Vermin! 1. Secret Negro Presidents! Finally, he interviews Philip Weiss on his theory that men are not automatically monogamous.

Founder of top-ranked Henderson Advertising Agency of Greenville, South Carolina; Republican candidate for Lieutenant Governor of South Carolina in 1970
Law 1839
"Mad LSD Slayer" of 1967

The Audacity Of Hopelessness

Muhammad Al Shaalan

Hardy Richardson

"You have to understand something,...A lot of this ... there was no choice. I was totally broke. So I didn't have time to sit around pondering or thinking all this through. It was just done on a basic pure survival level. I did what I had to do."

Omar al-Bashir
Ahmed Al Asiri

Former deputy CEO of Eurocopter
First Saudi Arabian female orthodontist
Law degree from Harvard Law School
A.M. 1972; PhD 1974

Olegário Benquerença

Member of the Pahlavi Imperial Family of Iran ; son of Reza Shah Pahlavi; brother of Mohammad Reza Pahlavi; the last Shah of Persia de facto
Edgar Pierce Professor of Psychology
PhD 1950 Radcliffe
Legal Adviser of the Department of State; former Dean of Yale Law School

Larsson

"If I learned one thing from the Liberty Bell, it's that crack is wack. Stay in school, kids. This is The Colbert Report."

Brooklyn, NY

Stephen talks about the new iPhone, and complains that it is better than the free one that he begged Apple Inc. to give to him. He then talks about the allegations that a fist-bump between Barack and Michelle Obama is also used by Hezbollah, and about Barack's alleged elitism. In "Smokin' Pole: The Fight for Arctic Riches," Stephen talks about a prediction that in the future, countries will fight over the resources in the Arctic, and how he has bought the rights to the theme music from Hockey Night in Canada. Finally, Stephen interviews Alan Rabinowitz about endangered cats.

Yekini

College 1876
Author, biologist
Conductor, composer, Professor of Music, musicologist

Stephen discusses the results of the Nevada Democratic caucus, incorrectly claiming he called the victory for Hillary Clinton last week. He also discusses Mitt Romney's win in the Nevada Republican caucus, as well as Mike Huckabee's and Fred Thompson's concession speeches in the South Carolina Republican primary. This leads to "Sam Waterston Says Things You Should Never Believe In A Trustworthy Manner." Stephen then interviews Allan Sloan about the prospects of a recession. In the first "Better Know A Governor" segment, Stephen gets to know the Governor of South Carolina, Mark Sanford. Finally, Stephen interviews Eric Weiner about his book, The Geography of Bliss.

World Largest Cream Cheese Cake

Business 1970
College 1969

20th (West Bromwich) Staffordshire Rifle Volunteer Corps

obrien001bil

Southern terminus.

PhD 1978

*TCU

Altobelli

College 1984, Law 1989
Law 1908

Robert Reich, Gregory Rodriguez

College 1980/82
Law 1953

Priya

New York Times journalist

Blessed Trinity

President of the United States; Nobel Peace Prize winner
College 1845; Law 1849
Andres Rivero
College 1952

Stephen briefly mentions Barbra Streisand kissing President Bush. He then talks about a potential government bailout of the Big Three U.S. automakers. Stephen then discusses Congresswoman Ileana Ros-Lehtinen unknowingly hanging up on President-elect Obama. Finally, he interviews Geoffrey Canada about his work with the Harlem Children's Zone.

Aaron Cochran

Antonio Mateu Lahoz
_red stripes

College 1830
A.M.; PhD; Professor

"Hey, alternating current. Why don't you just admit you're bi. This is The Colbert Report."

College 1964; Business 1967
Comedian, United States Senator
Political activist